#and especially if its written by a man who is trying to make a Strong Female Character said assault will be followed by a monologue

[silverskye13]

Hello it's me, back to rant about books I'm reading in the tags because it's a relatively unpleasant rant

[bisclavret]

there's a palpable missing link in gwen's characterization that the show has almost hinted at but never explored in a satisfactory way and after hours of riffing with @morganadismay i think it might be summarized with just. ambition? on a show as juvenile in its moral politics as bbc merlin ambition might be seen as a hunger for something and therefore a sinful bad thing so gwen just seemed to kind of seamlessly and elegantly rise to power, but honestly when you attribute a sense of ambition to her, the entire character that is guinevere clicks into place:

she has the most solid moral compass out of everyone in that castle - and she knows it. by her late teens she is already lady morgana's servant (morgana who, at this point, is the progressive and rebellious "adoptive" daughter of the king - perhaps someone to stay close to if you want to see reform?) and she flocks to merlin the second she sees him stand up to the prince. then, as soon as she realizes prince arthur actually listens to what she has to say and that it has an effect on his actions (makes him more progressive, open-minded, and class conscious) she subtly moves her interest from merlin and morgana onto him.

((affection is a propelling part of all these decisions, of course, anyone that's seen how gwen treats people doesn't doubt that it's with genuine love and kindness and care for their well-being. i'm just trying to argue that there's more to her than that, or rather that it's precisely this love that is driving her ambition as well:))

the show is written in such a way that only one person per episode can have a braincell so gwen's cleverness is often cast to the wayside so another character can have a go at using their brain, but we can all agree she is overall the smartest character out of the core four. and when you're as smart and full of love and worry as gwen is, it's intolerable to acutely feel the kingdom's injustices and do nothing about them. people often talk about how gwen is impossible to upset or make angry because she is just that empathetic and understanding and can easily put herself in people's shoes. these are definitely elements of gwen's personality, but i don't care how empathetic you are, when someone kills your dad - a sweet, innocent man - in the name of tyrannical ethnic cleansing of people with magic, you do not, you cannot brush it away. especially if you are as clever and empathetic as we know gwen to be.

and yet that's what she seems to do. in one of the most tone-deaf and frustrating and nonsensical conversations in the entire show, she tells merlin she would not kill uther, the mad tyrant king that just killed her fucking dad and is killing so many people on a daily basis, because then she would be just as bad as him. and i do think she believes this. because that's how she was written. however, there were other ways for her to show her displeasure with the royal family after they killed her literal dad. and she chose none. instead, she stayed close and hardly ever acknowledged her huge, enormous loss (elyan had been away for years and she had no mother to speak of - they killed her only family).

because she's strong? sure. but have you lost a loving parent? strength has nothing to do with what that sort of grief does to you. and i think it is precisely through that grief that gwen makes her choice to stick around and see this relationship with the royal family through as far as it can go. she lets her anger solidify into determination - determination to turn arthur into a better version of his father so these injustices have a chance at stopping once he's king.

she lets go of lancelot. she becomes more feminine, her hair longer and her corsets tighter every time we see her. she tolerates arthur's indecisiveness and brashness and morgana's increasing outbursts of cruelty. she never fully seems to expect to become queen, always quick to offer to let go of arthur for The Greater Good (merlin could take a page from her book), but that's precisely what makes her ambition a good trait. it's steadfast, it's logical, and the end goal isn't power for the sake of power. it's a slow, borderline sisyphean climb up the social ladder until she has stable enough footing to enact the reform that her contemporaries were too undiplomatic to achieve.

TL;DR you cannot get where gwen gets by the end of the show through true love or luck or a series of accidents. it would be a disservice to gwen's character to ignore the hints of calculating ambition in her actions and to pretend the compromises she had to make to get where she ends up were easy. what's amazing about her is that she is the sort of lovely, warm woman whose kindness could get taken advantage of until there is nothing left, but instead she turned her love and wisdom into an asset that helped her, essentially, win the game of thrones. i just wish the writers had let this side of her shine through.

[stelladess]

I find it odd when people frame lore revelations as being some sort of opposite to character development as they often are pretty heavily connected.

There are tons of examples like the mechanics of how the seaborne works being actively thematically important for multiple of the stories with them for example.

Kal´tsit being a synthetic being created by a now gone precursor civilization isn't just random lore fluff, it informs her character. Why she feels isolated and set apart from people and it makes her strong love for the people of Terra more meaningful because it would be easier for her to justify that she does not have to care about them because she is not one of them. But she does care about them! She considers herself part of Terra and responsible for helping people, something which clearly makes her feel very guilty for "failing".

spoilers for Babel event and chapter 14 below:

The doctor´s entire motives for betraying Theresa only make sense from their past and the goals of the precursor civilization. Those reveals do not undermine the character drama but enhance it, the contrast between the doctor wanting to be able to help people like Kal´tsit, Amiya or Theresa clashing with their mission to ensure originium absorbs everything. They know what they are doing is wrong but they feel like all choices are wrong and the one they have a duty to fulfill is the one that required betraying Theresa. I also think a nice detail is after the doctor made up their mind to betray Theresa they start referring to Kal´tsit as AMa-10 in their inner monologues and stop trying to think about Amiya at all. Pressumably sort of trying to dehumanise or ignore the people they know they will hurt because it makes it psychologically easier for them to go through with it, this is especially notable since the doctor gave Kal´tsit her name in the first place.

And when we get a bunch of weird reveals about originium and the past civilization in chapter 14... its mainly used to get some interesting character interactions between Kal´tsit and other characters and to facilitate the situation that allows for the confrontation with Theresa, also the stuff relating to the sarkaz souls stuck there is to explain why Theresa would willingly work with Theresis despite his uhm... evil aspirations, furthermore it is also to finally reveal a bit more about what Priestess was actually like as a character.

Heck back in Lone trail while the stronger character stuff was elsewhere (I especially love the Ifrit and Rosmontis focused stuff) the sarcophagi and Friston stuff is mostly to give some more insight into characters like Ho´oleyhak, Kal´tstit and doctor, introducing us to Mark Max and giving an actually believable reason for Kal´tsit having to burn her bridges with the Tin Man, causing Rhodes to be in pretty hot water with the Columbian government.

I find the idea that the story is deciding to "stop doing character focus to do lore" absurd quite frankly.

World building is important! What makes Arknights unique compared to a lot of other popular gacha games is in large part the world and history. Arknights characters are well written, but in particular they are well written in the sense that Arknights is good at showing how the world they live in shape people into who they are. Learning more about that world to explore it in greater depth is not contradictory to the goal of interesting character writing, it helps it.

[lemotmo]

They got an ask about Buck/Eddie being written like Hen/Chimney. Because of course 🙄

A. Good evening anon, my week has been pretty decent, thank you. I hope yours was as well. Buck/Eddie are not written or played remotely similarly to Hen/Chimney. Their dynamics are purposely different. I don't know if you belong to the group of viewers whose knowledge of the show only consists of 6 episodes from season 7, but based on your ask, I'm going to assume that you are. But even if your knowledge is relegated to season 7 exclusively you should still be able to see the difference. Hen and Chimney are your textbook besties for life. They support each other. They cry with and cheer for one another. And sometimes even share one braincell. But they have always been shown to have lives separate from one another and their friendship (that's part of the show history you're deliberately avoiding). I believe Chimney has had one scene with Denny (Hen and Karen's son) throughout the entirety of the show's run. Buck and Christopher's relationship is its own unit within the show. They have episodes and arcs devoted to the two of them (that pesky show history again, sorry). Buck is not written as his sudo uncle. He's not written as his dad's best friend who occasionally babysits. He is a coparent. Eddie and Buck had one episode, Eddie's first episode, and it wasn't even the full episode, where they weren't written as immediately living in the pocket of each other. The show made a point of developing Hen and Chimney outside of their friendship. The show has deliberately chosen not to do that with Buck and Eddie. It's a season after season writing choice. It's why Kenny, Aisha, and Tim can all easily use the word friendship to describe Hen/Chimney. It's also why Oliver, Ryan and Tim cannot use the word friendship to describe Buck and Eddie. It's why in interview after interview they all struggle to describe it. The word friendship does not feel right or remotely strong enough to describe their relationship. And they all know it (again, it's that lousy show history).

It's okay to say you don't want Eddie to be canonically queer because you know what that means for Tommy. That's okay. You're allowed to hate it solely for what it means to that character. We all hate something that is canon. I hate several canon things. I won't tell you all of them, but I will share one that seems minor to a lot of people, but fills me with rage. When the show had Buck tell Eddie that he thinks Natalia 'sees' him I wanted to burn the studio to the ground. Evan Buckley looked Eddie Diaz in the face and actually said out loud that someone he just met is the person who makes him feel seen (even typing the words out made my face hot). Eddie Diaz who knows Evan Buckley better than anyone else in the world had to listen to those words be said about someone else. I hate it. I hate it so much that any time anyone mentions that scene around me all my friends groan because they know I'm about to go on a rant. I don't pretend I hate it for any other reason except it made me upset on Eddie's behalf. That's it. To me it felt wrong, wildly out of place, especially considering Buck had known her all of 5 minutes, and I thought it was stupid. That's it. I don't try to convince everyone that my feelings towards that scene are about some greater morality point. I hate it because I hate it. And that's all that matters. I don't know who told you all that you're not allowed to not want Eddie to be canonically queer because you know they'll put him with Buck. That's the reason you don't want it. Say it. You can. No one will judge you for you saying that. People are judging you because you're pretending it's all this other greater good for television bullshit. It's not. It's not because television needs a straight/queer bestie combo, those are everywhere, including 911, hello Hen and Chimney. It's not because television needs a straight man who's not afraid of his emotions. It's not because putting them in a relationship would ruin one of the best platonic relationships on television. It's none of those things. It's because he would be with Buck. Period. Just own it. It's fine.

The only problem with admitting it means you're also admitting that once his arc with Buck is complete there is no purpose for Tommy. That's why you don't want to admit it. You guys have spent the entire hiatus letting people convince you that he's becoming an integral part of the show. That he's going to have storylines and episodes devoted to him and his past. He's not. Even if they keep him around as a boyfriend for a bit he will still just exist on the fringes of the show. He will never be important as a stand alone character. The show has given zero indication that he is anything more than a plot point. They just haven't. And maybe you all are correct, and Tim has spent the downtime thinking of ways to make him more permanent. But that is very unlikely. Everything we've seen so far, including the decision to release that deleted clip, seems to indicate he has a very particular story purpose, and once they've told that particular part of the story, his services will no longer be required. You can hate it. You have absolutely every right to hate it. It doesn't matter if I, or anyone else, ever understands why you hate it. You can hate it. But it won't make it less true. It will just be part of the canon that you hate. And that's okay.

Okay, I wouldn't know what to add to this to be honest. Every single thing that has been on my mind for some time now is right there, in the answer above. The only difference is that the OP managed to summarise all of it in a few paragraphs. It would probably have taken me hours and pages of text to say what they just said in their answer.

I just want to add on thing. It's true, we all have canon parts of the show that we hate. Mine is the lawsuit arc. I can't watch it anymore. I can't even read fics that deal with the lawsuit. That is how much I hate it. I hated how they made Buck sue the Fire Department and how they made him tell that lawyer all about his friends' private lives. I absolutely detest it, because it made me dislike Buck during that time. And I've always loved Buck, even season 1 Buck. I eventually got over it and forgave Buck around the same time Eddie did. I will always hate that arc, but I also realise that it happened and that it will forever be a part of Buck's character arc.

This will be part of the canon that I hate. And that's okay. It won't make me love the show any less, but it will always be there.

What are the canon parts of the show that you hate(d)?

Remember, no hate in comments or reblogs. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.

If you are interested in more of the anonymous OP’s posts, you can find all of their posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.

[i-yap]

I have a Dick Grayson request!

I don't know if you do vigilante s/o but I was wondering if you did could you write how he would react when he finds out that the crazy person jumping off buildings with his alter ego is also his gn s/o? I always find the different takes on the reader finding out about Nightwing but I really want to know what you think his reaction would be?Anyways, this might not be something you'll write but I just figured I'd ask

Lots of love and admiration for you and your works

❤️

A compliment and a Dick grayson ask??omg made my day ( I promise he isn't my favorite I love them all equally)

Ive never really written vigilante reader..or even imagined one but I can try

Dick Grayson x vigilante!s/o

s/n- supername

"There's an armed robbery at the children's hospital on 34th" reported Tim onto the batcom.

"I can get there in 5" replied Dick.

"Take hood with you, he's on 39th " Ordered Batman

"I don't need a babysitter..especially not hood"

"HAHA, Ill be there as soon as I'm done beating up this creep who was cornering pretty girls" Jason says cheekily.

"wait ..I dont think i need you here hood, or even I'm needed..S/n got here first. She's tying up the perps as we speak"

"Unmask her Nightwing, even I couldnt figure out her identity and she has been spotted in too many crimes around gotham" said Oracle

"You can't passible think THE s/n is a criminal" tim replied shocked

"Haha timmy has a thing for s/n just cause she was caught buying rock shirts from the shady stores he loves" Jason teases

" NO REAL NAMES ON THE COMS JASON, also Oracle is right. Best to be precautionary" states Batman.

Nightwing approaches s/n. "OH JEEZ, hi your scared me haha. Not that you're scary. You're really hot , I mean your partner probably finds you hot but not me. I'm just random vigilante...Uh anyways Ive called the police they're on their way so I think my work here is done!" You say hurriedly after spotting your boyf-nightwing approaching you.

"Well good work here s/n. But I actually had to speak to you alone. " "Me? why??"

"I need you to unmask yourself. Batman's orders . You cant trust me, you know I'm one of the good guys and we have been on multiple cases together. Plus you are kind of in my city"

" Well I- dick listen." "How do you -" You take off your mask to reveal yourself.

"I was about to tell you dickie..please don't be mad" "MAD? ME? MY SWEETHEART IS A CRIME FIGHTING ASS KICKING SUPERHERO! I KNEW YOU WERE TOO STRONG TO BE A BARISTA!. I mean I do wish you told me before" "I just didn't know how you would take it. You always talked about how much you loved our domestic intimacy and simplicity in our relationship and i-" Dick takes your hands in his "We can still have that baby, just because you are a superhero doesn't change anything. Youre still the best thing that ever happened to me and now we can even spend more time together as our alter ego. We would be a great power couple!" Says dick, pulling you into a passionate kiss.

"EW EW THE ROMANTIC SPEECH WAS GROSS BUT KISSING NOISES?" Yells jason into the coms

" NO DICK HOW COULD YOU, MY SUPERCRUSH MAN" Cries out tim

"shit i forgot to turn off my comms" whines dick

"NO REAL NAMES ON THE COMS !" Orders Bataman

"Bring her to the manor once you have discussed the - the revelation. There is much to talk about" Says Batman.

"I'm Surprised Y/n is even real" Joins in Damian.

"WHY WOULD I LIE ABOUT HAVING A PARTNER" yells Nightwing into the comms while you try to muffle your laugh.

"Well, I am no one to comment on your mental state NightWing, But it is questionable"

You pull away Dick from the comms before they all start bickering- and giving bruce a headache. Sure there was a lot to discuss but dick is the best batboy to be a vigilante partner to. He would be understanding and non restrictive and the perfect partner in fight. Communication is easy with him and he trusts you and gives you your space to be yourself. After all, its all these things that make him love you for you.

sorry if there is anything offensive i don't usually write gn!reader cuz I'm a cis female and I don't proof read. Also english is not my first language. Lmk if there's anything offensive and ill change it.

[promise-you-doie]

Who knew? | L. Sohee

Who knew the love of your life would be the weirdo you met in a coffee shop?

Sohee x afab!reader

Word count: 8k

Warnings: curse words

Genre: fluff, angst

Playlist

“Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed.” Karina snickers, leaving the kitchen so she doesn’t have to be in the same area as you. 

Mad isn’t even a strong enough word to describe how you feel right now. You can feel your blood boiling, and every little sound causes you to get more and more frustrated. The reason? You missed all 7 of your alarms because you forgot to charge your phone the night before. 

If there was anything you hated more than the male species, it had to be waking up at 11 am. 

That means you have only 30 minutes until your first lecture of the day, which by the way isn’t nearly enough time to pick out an outfit, do your skin care, your makeup routine, and your hair, and still get to class on time. 

Waking up at 11 on any day, including the weekend, basically meant that your day was already ruined. You’ve already wasted half the day, so it’s best to protect your peace and just stay home. And that’s what you decide to do after attempting to do your hair but quitting after its lack of cooperation.

“I wanna die.” You slur into a pillow after successfully spending 30 minutes getting angry at any and everything. 

“Why die when the sky is clear and blue.” Winter chimes happily, a little too happy for your liking. 

“Maybe you just need some fresh air and a coffee.” Ningning suggests from the bathroom. “I heard there’s a new cafe down the street, you should go.” She adds 

“I don’t wanna go outside. I wanna lay here and die.” You say it as a joke, but some part of you is serious. 

Either way, You still end up at the cafe. Even though Siri kept giving you the wrong directions. What should have been a 7-minute walk turned into 2, 15-minute laps. It’s safe to say that by the time you arrived, you had completely lost your appetite for coffee.

But you’re persistent in making the best out of this unlucky Monday. Walking into the cafe with a facial expression that tells everyone around you that it was only 12:01 and you were already having a bad day. 

“Hi, could I get an Iced Americano?” You say blandly, forcing a small smile to cover the bad mood you are in 

“What size?” The barista asks

“Large.” You needed it. 

“Will that be all?” He asks. 

 You nod “Yes,” while patting your pockets for your wallet. Here's the catch, you left it at home. Before you resort to your last plan; screaming, crying, and sobbing on your knees, you decide to check your purse. Except, you don’t have that either.

“Your total is gonna be 5.05” The barista looks at you distantly as if he couldn’t see the internal war that you were battling right now before his very eyes. “I-” “I got it.” You watch someone stick their arm past you to put their card in the card reader. Thus paying for your much-needed drink. 

“You didn’t have to.” You say shyly, without even looking in the stranger's direction. 

“Don’t worry about it.” 

“I’ll pay you back.” You finally turn to look at him. “Just uh…” You rush to pull out your phone and unlock it. “Give me your number, and I’ll wire it to you as soon as I get home.” 

There were lots of things you hated, men being on the top of the list and being indebted to people is fourth down from it, with “Especially to men” written beside it in parenthesis. So anytime a man did anything nice to you, you wanted to make sure you paid them back immediately just so they don’t try to hold it over your head later. 

“It’s only five dollars.” the stranger says 

“Just let me pay you back, Please.” You beg, still holding your phone out for him to put his information in.

“Well if you really wanna pay me, you could just allow me to take you out on a date.” His response leaves you dumbfounded. A frown grows on your face when he smiles at you. 

If someone were to ask why you were adamant about burning all the men alive, this was the exact reason why. “You’re kidding… right?” You laugh, because surely this has to be a joke. When you walked out of your apartment this morning you were hoping to just have a cup of coffee and maybe some exercise. The last thing you were thinking was to have some guy hitting on you after he practically forced you to let him pay for your coffee. (you didn’t ask him to do that, so basically he did it by force.) 

“Y/n.” The barista calls out your name, luckily to pull you away from the weirdo that is subliminally asking to get in your pants. During broad daylight, in front of a crowd of people.

“Thank you.” You muster up a smile for the barista and head towards the door. Leaving the stranger behind. Owing him doesn’t even matter anymore. It’s not like you’re ever gonna see him again. 

You let out a deep sigh when you hear him yell “You’re welcome.” once you leave the cafe and the door closes behind you.     

“Today has to be the worst day ever.” You complain the second you step into your apartment. Catching the attention of your four other roommates. 

The apartment was small and probably shitty to most but it didn’t matter to any of you because you were all together and the rent was too high nowadays. So if it took all of you piling over each other just so you wouldn’t be homeless, so be it. 

However, being in a small 3-bedroom apartment with 4 other girls meant no secrets. Not because the five of you were nosy, it’s just that the walls were thin and there was absolutely nowhere to go to get any privacy. Best believe there were things about the girls that you wish you didn’t know. 

“Couldn’t have been that bad,” Karina says nonchalantly, walking past you towards the living room to plop down on the couch and catch up on the series she’s been binging for a week now. 

“Well, first I woke up late..” You’re tailing after Karina but get stopped when Ningning walks in your direction, only to take the coffee out of your hand and begin taking sips out of it. “This is good.” She nods without acknowledging the story you’re trying to tell everyone. Skipping to the couch with your drink still in her hand. 

“There’s probably someone in the world dying right now, while you’re crying about sleeping in for a few hours.” Giselle scolds but she doesn’t even take the time to look at you. She just takes a seat next to Ningning and helps the two girls finish what’s left of your coffee. 

“No, but listen, I went to go to the cafe as you guys suggested. But the directions were being stupid.” 

“Was it the directions or was it you?” Karina asks, shaking around the ice in the coffee. 

“It might have been me but that’s not the point.” You dismiss, “After like 30 minutes I finally find the cafe and I go to place my order.” 

“But let me guess- You forgot your card.” Giselle interrupts you.

“Well, yeah. And then-"Wait, if you forgot your card, how’d you get this coffee.” Ningning asks instead of letting you finish what you’re so desperately trying to get out. 

“The barista obviously thought she was cute and gave it to her for free,” Giselle answers for you. 

“No. I-” 

“For free? I don’t think so. Y/n’s pretty but she’s not ‘I think you’re so pretty that I’m gonna risk my job and be homeless’ pretty. Some guy probably just found interest in her and paid for her coffee, so she insisted on paying him back because she never knows how to accept when someone’s being nice but he refused cash and asked her to just let him take her on the date instead.” Karina somehow predicts everything perfectly, which is kinda scary. 

“Yeah, actually” You confirm, but you’re still at a loss for words. 

“So what did you say?” Ningning turns to you. 

“No, of course. This is y/n we’re talking about.” Karina sits up to give you the last bit of coffee but winter reaches it before you do. Swiping it right from under you and taking the last swallow. 

“Well, at least you got free coffee.” Giselle points out. 

“And I'll tell you what I got,” Winter demands everyone's attention. Throwing her arm around your shoulder and turning to you when she says “We’re gonna get you laid tonight.” 

“What are you talking about?” Giselle asks before you get the chance. 

“Jaemin just invited us to a party and guess who’s gonna be there,” Winter asks, pointing to Ningning who pipes up, slapping her hands together.

 “I’m guessing, Jaemin.” You say nonchalantly. 

“Sohee.” Ningning chimes. By now she’s jumping up and down. 

Sohee is the guy she’s been trying to set you up with for weeks. You never met him and you don’t really wanna meet him. She tells you that she has a feeling that you’ll like him but you don’t think that’s the case because well, he’s a man. 

“I’m not going.” You state pushing Winter's arm off of you so you can go to your bedroom. Pretending not to hear all of them yell “Boring.” before you close the door. 

Another con with living with four other girls is that everyone is always ganging up against you. There wasn’t much ground for you to hold when it was always 4:1. With that being said, it was no surprise that you still ended up at Jaemin’s party even after making 101 excuses as to why you couldn’t go. 

You were a few hours late of course. If the girls were gonna drag you out you had to make sure that you wasted as much time as possible. 

“Here, drink this.” Giselle pushes some drink in your face. 

“What is it?” 

“Doesn’t matter, drink it.” She continues pushing the cup towards you until you take it and down the whole thing. Not caring what it is because you’re sure that she wouldn’t give you anything too dangerous right?

wrong.

“That’s horrible.” You yell over the music, wiping the excess liquid from your lips with the back of your hand. 

“Isn’t it? I thought I was the only one.” Giselle laughs while taking the cup from your hand. You didn’t bother to argue with her, since it was something that she had a habit of doing. Instead, you just sit there around the couch watching everyone else have fun and decide that you’d rather be home. Or probably anywhere else. 

Some people might say that you’re a prick or a party pooper, that you were stuck up and unfun but you’d say, they were absolutely right. What are you even supposed to do at these kinds of things? All you saw were really bad dance moves, a mess, and a hangover in the morning. What could be so fun about that? 

“Woah.” You hear someone say from behind you. You don’t roll your eyes yet but you want to, because you’re almost sure you know who it is before you even see them. “I didn’t think this would be the place that I run into you again.” The boy says when you finally turn around to meet him. 

The universe must absolutely hate you, you think. Because there is just no way that you run into the same man again within the same day. “Why not?” You say arms crossed with a frown bigger than the one you had this morning when you ran into him the first time. 

“Well…” He looks you up and down.

“What are you trying to say?” 

“This just doesn’t look like something that you’d be into, that’s all.” He smiles and leans against the wall beside you. “But I’m glad you’re here.” 

This time you roll your eyes and walk away. You don’t have enough time nor do you care enough to try and change his mind about you. Thankfully he doesn’t try and chase after you but he does yell “I hope you enjoyed the coffee.” to which you hold your middle finger up behind you so he can see it. 

“Y/n where are you going?” Ningning runs to you, tugging at your arm when you reach Jaemin’s front door. 

“Home.” 

“Wait! You have to meet Sohee first.” 

“I’ll be fine.” You say trying to get out the door."

“Just 30 more minutes please.” She begs, getting down on her knees but not letting go of your hand. 

You could argue with her, but one thing about Ningning is that she’s never lost an argument. So you take the easy way out and distract her instead. 

“Oh my god, is that Sungchan?” You spur randomly 

“You can’t fool me Y/N.” She looks at you unamused, but pipes up from the floor the second she hears a stranger from behind yell “Is that Sungchan.” 

You blink once and she’s gone, mixed in with the other crowds of people. And you take your opportunity to run away, grabbing the first taxi you see and heading back to your apartment. 

The steam from your shower follows you from the bathroom into your bedroom when you sit on your bed. Drying your hair with a towel, you take a deep breath. This is great, it’s quiet and calm just the way you like it. 

That is until your four roommates come crashing into your room, screaming and squealing over each other and you can't even make out what any of them are saying. The only things you’re able to make out are something about fate and the Sohee guy that Ningning’s been telling you about. 

“Wait, one at a time.” You stand and hold your hands out. “Giselle first.” You add

“Who’s turn is it to cook tonight? I’m hungry.” She slurs and then walks out of the room before any of you can answer her question. 

“Okay… Winter.” You point to her when she holds her hand up. 

“HI.” She holds her hand over her mouth when she giggles. 

“Hi, Winter.” Her giggle gets louder when you smile back at her.   

“Sohee wants to meet you,” Ningning yells, not giving Karina a chance to speak. 

“I’m not interested.” You state, sitting on your bed. 

“Come on, please. Just once.” She pleads for the second time of the day. 

“No.” 

“He could be the one.” Ningning begs even more.

“I don’t think so.” 

“He’s cute and sweet and probably even romantic.” She adds

“Then you date him.” You mutter, laying down on the bed and closing your eyes. 

“He wants you.” She continues even though you’ve turned your lamp off and shifted comfortably under your bed. 

“I don’t want him.”

Other than your bedroom the best place on earth is the library. An endless world of books and possibilities. The best part about it? It’s completely quiet and the librarian always gives you one of her home-baked cookies. 

Today the library is completely empty which means it’s even quieter than usual. The only noise is the traffic noise and the thunderstorm happening from outside. Which is even better for you because you know your afternoon reading session is going to be better than ever. 

Walking down the romance aisle, dragging your index finger down each of the books until you find the very book you’re looking for. The spectator in the painting: volume 7/9. 

You had spent the last four months binging the book after your favorite book blog suggested it. A story about a prince who falls in love with a violinist and risks his life to save her when she gets sentenced to death after treading too deep into the king's chambers. 

The series was astonishing, just when you thought you knew what was gonna happen next, Boom! A plot twist. 

“There it goes.” You whisper to yourself when you find the book on the top shelf out of place from where it’s supposed to be. 

Your heart drops when you hear a somewhat familiar voice. The library is dead silent so when the boy walks in with his green sweatshirt and crossbody bag you immediately break out of your world. Leaning over the bookshelf to see if the voice belongs to who you think it belongs to.

“Good evening, Miss Lynn.” The boy greets happily leaning over the counter. You can tell he visits the library often because of how comfortable he is, smiling and making jokes with the librarian. That doesn’t bother you, but what does is Ms. Lynn passing him one of her home-baked cookies and joking with him about how he shouldn’t tell anyone. just like how she does with you. 

You take that as a sign to mind your business, not even wanting to know who the boy is anymore. Except when you think to walk away the librarian points in your direction, guiding the boy to the sci-fi genre of books behind you. What’s even worse is the exact second the boy turns around you see that he’s exactly who you thought it was.

“Fuck.” you mutter under your breath and hide behind the shelf. Holding your book to your chest. You clasp your hand over your mouth. You want to stand there and take in the shock that your body just went through but you know the better option is to get out of there as quickly and quietly as possible without him seeing you. Turning on your heels and walking quickly out of the aisle.

You’re almost there when you hear the boy call out for you. 

“Y/n?” You know you should just keep walking away but you can’t. You stop dead in your tracks and slowly turn back to him. He strolls closer to you when he’s sure that he called for the right person. 

“How do you know my name?” you question, suddenly every crime documentary comes to mind and your heart is racing. He could be a stalker or maybe a murderer. 

“It was on your coffee order.” He answers with his usual smile. except this time it’s a lot more reassuring, no one with such an adorable smile could ever harm you. Right?

After a few seconds of silence, he points to the book you’re holding. “you read this too?” 

“No, I was just curious about it. But now that I look at it, it seems uninteresting.” You flip the book around as if you’re examining it. 

“I thought people usually started with volume 1.”

“Is this not…” You feign ignorance, flipping the book around to see that it says volume 7 as if that wasn’t the one you intended to read. “Oh I don’t have my glasses, I tho…”

You trail off looking back at the boy. “I don’t have to explain myself to you.” you scold him.

“You don’t.” he agrees while reaching for the book in your hand. “I don't think you’ll like it anyway, the main character is so annoying. she’s always so defensive.” 

Your first instinct is to defend the woman, even if she is fictional. “She’s not-“ but then you realize you’ve blindly walked into his trap.

“Whatever, just give me the book.” You mutter, pulling the book from his hand and walking out of the library. Not caring that he fondly watches you stomp through the library doors with the book still in hand.

“Why won’t he leave me alone?” You dramatically yell upon entering your apartment. 

“Who?” Giselle pops up first

“he?” Karina comes out second

“No! no one can talk to you right now. You’re already taken.”Ningning runs out grabbing by your arm as if this was gonna protect you from the boy, who’s not even in the room. 

“taken?” everyone except Ningning calls out at the same time.

“By Sohee.” 

Instead of a verbal response, you just roll your eyes, Ningning was very persistent, you’ll give her that.

“Okay wait, who's the guy that won’t leave you alone?” Winter asks 

“The guy from the coffee shop. It’s like he’s following me around, first at the cafe, then at the party, and now at the library.”

“The party?” Giselle questions “Is that why you left early.”

“That and I didn’t really wanna see Karina making out with a bunch of different strangers.” You admit, subtly gesturing to her with your hand. 

“Fair” Karina nods 

“Is he cute?” Winter questions

“The contrary! ” You somewhat shout. You’re very driven and determined to prove that you’re not into this guy even though you know it’s a lie. “What's even worse is that he won’t leave me alone and he knows my name.”

“like a stalker?” Giselle suggests 

“Probably, this is why I hate men.” You throw your hands up

“But you’ll love Sohee,” Ningning adds.

Some days go by when you don’t run into him. five to be exact but it wasn’t like you were counting. You didn’t wanna see him, but it was torture for you to walk into places and constantly look over your shoulder because you thought he might be right behind you. 

You’re sitting at the kitchen counter, head propped up by the knuckle of your hand. You’ve been up for hours trying to finish this paper for your biochemistry class, but you’re not making any progress. There were only two coherent lines written on the paper and a bunch of random letters that appeared when you slammed your head on the keyboard of your computer. 

“I am so fucked.” You mutter, head still stuck into your laptop.

Your head stays there just a moment. You just needed a small break, nothing serious, just a small moment to reboot your brain and give you maximum creativity and intellect. 

Except it wasn’t just a moment, you had slept through your first two alarms. Head popping the second your alarm begins to ring, immediately your eyes go to the time. “No~.” you groan frustratedly. throwing your legs over the chair and running into your bedroom to get dressed.

luckily you had just enough time to get some coffee and this time you brought your card. You made sure of it. 

You walk into the cafe and stand behind the six people who are already in line getting ready to place their orders. Humming along to the tune that they have playing lowly from the speakers, you pull out your phone to kill time, going back and forth through your social media. Until it’s your turn to place the order. 

“Good morning, what can I get for you today?” You notice the barista is different from the last one and much more welcoming as well. 

“I’ll just take a small iced americano.” You say, pulling out your wallet to pay for the coffee. 

“And can I get your name for the order?”

“Y/n” 

“Okay, I’ll call out your name when the order is ready.” 

“Perfect thank you.” You nod and find a table to go wait, Although it doesn't take long for the man to call your name. You stand up almost as soon as you sit down, pick up your iced drink, and head to the door. 

Just moments before you reach the door another man walks into the small coffee shop. You can tell that he’s already preoccupied with his phone to notice that you’re on your way out. So you take the initiative to get out of his way. However, it still doesn’t stop him from bumping into your shoulder and knocking your (thankfully, iced) coffee all over your clothes. 

“Watch where you’re going.” He’s the first to yell, he doesn’t bother helping you clean up the mess he made, and he doesn’t even apologize. 

The asshole just walks right past you. 

“Do you want me to kill him?” “Ye-” You almost say “yes.” on instinct but ultimately refuse and turn around to face the boy behind you. Letting your shoulders relax when you meet his soft eyes and familiar smile. “No, it’s fine.” No matter how hard you try you can’t stop the smile that grows on your lips. Hurrying and looking down before he could see it too. 

“I’ll go see if I can get a mop.” he walks away too soon to hear you say “okay.” and you stand there waiting for him with a stupid smile on your face as if you weren’t just wishing he’d vanish less than a week ago.

You’re only able to pull yourself out of your trance when he finally comes back with the mop. You reach to pull the mop out of his hand so you can clean it up but he stops you. “I go this, you can just wait over there. I’ll buy you a new coffee.” As if you weren’t slowly falling for him already. 

“Okay.” You nod sheepishly, walking to where he guided you. 

You weren’t one to get flustered, and especially not by man. But here you were kicking your feet, blushing and giggling all because someone offered to buy you a new coffee. 

It takes only 9 minutes for him to walk back to you with a fresh cup of iced americano. “You didn’t have-” “I know.” he cuts you off, pushing the coffee towards you until you accept it. You finally do after a few moments of just staring at it. 

“Thanks,” you say last, receiving the cup from his hand and getting ready to walk away. He lets you make it all the way to the door before he calls to get your attention. 

“Wait.” When you stop and turn around he jogs towards you and wraps his jacket around you to cover up the coffee stain that you have smudged into your shirt. “Here.” 

You don't fight with him this time because you’d rather wear his jacket down the street than a huge coffee stain on the front of your shirt. “Thanks.” is all you say, as you smile at him one last time. Turning and walking out the door not forgetting to sneak a few last-minute glances at him through the window.

The walk towards your school was like straight out of a movie. You’re grinning from ear to ear, giggling to yourself, and dancing along the sidewalk. Not caring for the strangers that were oddly staring at you.

You could say the coffee gave you energy but really it was the owner of the green varsity jacket you were wearing. 

Then that’s when it hits you. You stop dead in your tracks realizing that you have no way to return the jacket after today since it isn’t promised that you’ll see him again. 

Without thinking much you turn around and run back to the cafe, fingers crossed that he’ll still be there when you get there

You end up back in front of the cafe, panting and puffing but you still shuffle into the small shop and begin frantically searching for the boy. 

He was already long gone, the cafe had picked up activity since you’d left but he was nowhere to be seen. 

You’d encountered him four different times and even managed to get his jacket, but you still had yet to learn his name. The only thing you knew about him was that he read romance and that he likes coffee, parties, and apparently the color green. 

“Whose jacket is that?” Winter asks from your bed, watching you cautiously hang up the varsity jacket in your closet. You hurry and close the door to restrict her view of the overgarment.

“I bought it the other day.” You spur 

“Oh please, that is not your style.” Winter teases when you continue folding all the rest of your laundry. 

“I just needed something really quick.” You miss when Gisselle goes into the closet behind you and pulls out the jacket. 

“This is a man’s jacket.” She calls out, “I can still smell his cologne.” 

“A man’s jacket?” Karina and Ningning suddenly appear out of thin air. 

Squeezing your eyes shut before shoving your face into the palms of your hands, you wish you could disappear right there and then. There’s no point in even trying to explain yourself. You doubt you’d even get through the story without smiling.

“Y/n honey, we need to talk.” Ningning reaches for your hand. 

“talk?” You ask but get ignored by all four of your roommates. Karina and Winter both guide you to sit on your bed for whatever it is that Ningning has to say. She holds your hand as she looks at you to say “You’re forbidden from ever seeing him again.”

You cry “Wha- forbidden. you can’t do this.” You look around to the rest of the girls to defend you but they do absolutely nothing. 

“We've already set you up on a date with your soulmate.” Ningning leans in front of you so you can turn your attention back to her.  

“soulmate?” You question first but then circle back to the bigger problem. “A date?”

“You’ve led us to do this.” 

“How is this my fault? I didn’t ask for this.”

“we’re worried for you, if you don’t start dating now then when?” Winter interjects. 

“This is absurd, I don’t need to date.” You argue but it’s of no use because you still end up at the diner where the girls told you the date was gonna take place. 

You’re not really dressed for a date, just a simple pair of jeans, some sneakers, and the oversized green varsity jacket that you acquired two days ago. 

Wearing another guy's jacket on a date wasn’t ideal but neither was going on a date against your will. 

It was by force obviously, you weren’t here because you wanted to be but because you had no other choice. Ningning threatened to burn all of your prized possessions if you spent less than 30 minutes with the man she’s been dying to set you up with. 

Quite frankly you were starting to grow curious about this Sohee guy.

“Table 4” You murmur under your breath, it’s not hard at all to find the table. You knew this diner like the back of your hand since it’s the place that you and your roommates used as a hangout spot since your first year of university. However, you begin to question yourself when you see a familiar face sitting at the table where your date’s supposed to be. 

“What are you doing here?” You stop and question. 

The bow stands up when he notices you approach him “I’m here to see you.” 

“You can’t be here, I have a date.” 

“With Sohee?” He asks, but it sounds more like a statement to you. 

You’ve seen this before. (not from personal experience of course.) You’re getting stood up by a man you’ve never even met. The funniest part is you never wanted to go on this date in the first place. “Did he bail at the last minute?”  

“I don’t think we’ve ever gotten a chance to properly introduce ourselves.” The boy speaks, 

“If he’s not coming we don’t need to waste our time, I completely understand.” You halfway turn to leave before he blurts “I’m Sohee.” He holds his hand out.

This was a twist you didn’t even see coming. Looking at him with his hand held out towards you, all you can think about is Ningning trying to convince you that you and him were “written in the stars.” 

“Oh, you’re Sohee.” You repeat followed by a laugh of embarrassment. “Sorry about that, I thought-” You’re getting ready to explain yourself but decided against it. 

“Do you wanna sit down?” Sohee asks, only after watching you stare nervously at the chair in front of you. 

“Oh yeah, that’d be smart.”

Awkward is when you take ten minutes staring at the menu because you thought that would be better than staring at the boy in front of you. Taking your time to read the food items, ingredients, and even calories (which you couldn’t care less about.) Especially when you already knew what you were gonna order anyway. The same thing you always order, A burger with a side of fries and a lemonade. 

“I’ve never seen you this shy before.” Sohee interrupts your thoughts as he pulls the menu from your hands. 

“I’m not shy, I’m just trying to figure out what I wanna eat.” You spit, pulling the menu back so you can finish wasting time. 10 minutes down, 20 more to go.  

“I’m guessing you don’t go on lots of dates.” He continues. You wanna yell at him for talking too much while you’re trying to read, but you don’t. You don’t get the chance to, as soon as you open your mouth the waitress comes out with food. 

“We haven’t ordered yet.” You look up to the kind waitress.

“I ordered for you, I wasn’t sure what you might’ve wanted so I just got you a burger.” As if on cue the server places a burger right in front of you, with a cup of lemonade to match.

You wanted to hate him, but boy was he making it so hard.

“If you already ordered, why did you let me spend so much time looking at the menu?” You ask when the waitress leaves. 

“In case I got something you didn’t like.” He says casually, reaching for his fork. 

Either you're just very simple or he’s made to be the love of your life. it could be both. 

“You didn’t have to walk me home.” You’re looking at the ground, watching how your footsteps are in sync with his. It’s pretty dark outside so naturally it’s colder, but for some reason, it doesn’t bother you. 

“I wanted to.” He says simply, and the look in his eyes tells you that he’s being sincere.

It falls silent again, still awkward but this time it’s a comfortable awkwardness. And now that you kinda got to know him you realize that he’s not nearly as bad as you thought he was. So much for first impressions. 

“We’re here.” You stop right in front of your apartment building, standing on your tippy toes and landing back on your heels.

He first takes a glance at the semi-tall building and then back down at you, who's trying to look anywhere else but him.

“Thank you for agreeing to see me tonight.”

“yeah of course.” You nod even though you were completely against the idea. 

“I had fun.” 

“Me too.” You nod again. 

“So I guess I'll just see you around?” You can tell he’s just stalling now.

“I’ll definitely see you around.” you giggle.

“I guess it’s time for you to go now.” 

“I guess so.” you agree 

“Well, goodnight.”

“goodnight Sohee.” you watch him walk away, but he’s taking his sweet time. dragging his feet along the ground the farther he walks away from you. You almost find it amusing how dramatic he’s being. 

As you get ready to walk in and you grab the ends of the jacket you're wearing you realize that this is the perfect opportunity to return it.

“oh, Sohee.” You only have to call out once for him to come running back to you as if he never left.

“yeah?”

“Your jacket.” He stops you when you’re halfway through pulling it off.

“Keep it, it looks good on you.” 

“Are you sure?”

“goodnight, Y/n,” He says last, walking away and leaving you with his jacket. 

“How’d it go? What happened? Isn’t he cute?” Ningning bombards you with questions when you first step foot through your door. 

“he’s tolerable” You kick off your shoes and throw them off to the side. Then you reach to pull your jacket off, sliding it down your shoulders and hanging it up once you reach your bedroom.

“That’s great, it’s an improvement.” 

“If you say so.” 

“Did he say anything about the jacket? I told you not to wear the jacket.” Ningning mumbles 

“I bet he smelled the other man’s cologne.” Giselle snickers as she walks by.

“He said it looks good on me.” The room goes quiet and everyone stares at you...” Ningning watches you, jaw slacked and dilated pupils. 

“Y/n has a boyfriend, Y/n has a boyfriend.” It takes them not even ten seconds to form a circle around you and begin dancing like school children on the playground. 

Your favorite time of day is when the sun begins to set. When the sky is painted in shades of orange and pink the birds fly over the sky. Your bedroom is flooded with the natural lighting of the sky, matching the mood of the jazz you have playing in your headphones.  

For a moment you sit and gaze out of your window, observing the people walking the streets below you, watching the cars drive past and the trees that sway in the direction of the wind. All of these things distract and entertain you, yet they still remind you of the boy you're trying so hard to forget. 

You stand up and close the blinds of your apartment. Blocking out all light, your room drifts into complete darkness, with only peaks of light shining through the cracks. 

That’s how it stays when you walk into the kitchen with the rest of your roommates. 

‘Oh, there she is.” Karina dramatically announces your appearance when you shuffle into the crowded space. Taking a seat on the stool next to her. 

“How come you don’t talk to us anymore?” Giselle asks 

“You are being dramatic, we talked this morning.” 

“You only asked me if I knew what you did with that hideous green jacket.” She scoffs 

“It’s not hideous, you just have no taste.” You playfully scold. 

“Whose jacket is that anyway?” Winter speaks up, digging in the fridge to pull out the orange juice. Wincing when Ningning slaps her arm for drinking out of the carton instead of grabbing a cup like everyone else. 

“Mine.” You answer. 

“No but actually?” Giselle asks, just as curious as the rest of the girls who are all watching and waiting for you to answer the question honestly. 

“Some guy let me borrow it because I spilled coffee on myself.” You leave out quite a few details but you’re sure what they don’t know won’t hurt them. 

“Okay so wait? Some random guy gave you his jacket-” Winter starts but Karina finishes “And you accepted it.” 

“I didn’t wanna walk around with coffee stains.” You shrug. 

“This is great, this is great. You’ll just go downstairs and explain that to Sohee so he won’t get the wrong idea.” Ningning claps as she gradually gets closer and tugs at your arm. Completely missing how blatantly confused you are. 

“Downstairs?” 

“Yeah, in his apartment” She never stops tugging at your arm. 

“Wait, he lives here?” 

“Yeah? Unit 411.” Ningning finally registers just how confused you are. “Didn’t he tell you?” 

Instead of answering her question you run out, leaving her and the rest of the girls as puzzled as you were a few moments ago. 

Without thinking much you knock on the door, just to see if what Ningning said was true. But after you knock you start growing anxious, suddenly you can hear your heartbeat and your hands are frantically moving at your side.

In the span of 10 seconds, you check the unit number 12 times just to make sure that you have the right one, and you’re not knocking on someone else's door. Soon you start to wonder what would happen if someone else answered the door. 

Just when you come to the conclusion to bail, you hear the doorknob turn and the door opens to reveal the boy you expected to see.  

Unfortunately, now that you see him, you realize you hadn’t planned after this point. So you just stare at him eyes wide, unsure of what to say or do. You’re just as shocked as he is when he stares back at you with a matching expression. 

You clear your throat before you take the initiative to speak first. “Why didn’t you tell me that you lived here too?” 

He answers, “I didn’t wanna scare you.” 

“Oh… that makes sense.” You nod, looking down at your pajama pants and bunny slippers. 

“Do you wanna come in?” He holds the door open for you to accept his invitation but you shake your head and back up. 

“No, I can't, I have to~” You struggle to come up with an excuse. “Finish my laundry.” You finish, nodding as if that’s gonna make him believe you. 

“Okay, well, I’ll see you around then?” 

“I guess it’ll be hard not to.” 

You were never too fond of men. 

While most people had a tragic backstory that led them to hate the things they hate, you didn’t. 

You weren’t crossed by a man in your past resulting in your blatant hatred of the entire species. Sure you’d had unfavorable interactions with quite a few men in your life, but that wasn’t what led you to dislike them. 

It took many years of observation for you to come to your conclusion on the male race. However it didn’t take long for you to learn a few things about them.

But the most important thing was, they were all the same. 

That’s what you thought for years, every man, boy, guy, or male is the same. Yet, you find that your conclusion might not be entirely accurate. 

Looking at Sohee you feel that he’s different from all the guys you’ve ever come across. He isn’t selfish, or obnoxious. He isn’t entirely full of himself. 

He’s actually sweet and easy to be around. 

Which was good for you because, since you found out that he lived within a few hundred feet from you he began to follow you around like a puppy. 

Whether it was walking you to and from class, or even showing up to your apartment with breakfast. 

It was off-putting at first, 

You mindlessly strolled down the hallway of your apartment building. You weren’t thinking of anything other than the leftovers you were gonna eat when you finally got home. 

Sohee however had different plans. The second you turned the corner you noticed him standing at your door with what looked like a bag of takeout. 

Your body goes into shock before you can even comprehend what you’re doing. You hide behind the corner. 

You think maybe that’ll buy you enough time to figure out what to do next. You take a deep breath before slapping your hand over your mouth. 

You take a look at all the options you have. You could either sneak out through the stairs or you could take your chances with the elevator and hope that the girls aren’t on their way home. 

“Who are we hiding from?” Sohee suddenly appears right beside you. Causing you to jump in horror, luckily you were able to come up with a lie on the spot. 

“I was just… looking for my earring, I think I might've dropped it.” You pretend to look around for a nonexistent piece of jewelry. 

“What does it look like? I'll help you find it.” Rather than making him help you look for something that you knew was never going to be found you concocted another lie.

“uh no it’s okay, they were getting old anyways.” You say, pressing your lips into a thin line. 

“Oh well, do you wanna have lunch together?” He grins, holding up the brown paper bag in front of your face.  

But over time you’d gotten used to it, and maybe even came to kind of like his dog-like personality.

“So you’re a man-hater” Sohee starts, despite knowing that you hated when people talked while you were reading. 

He’s not necessarily an exception but you don’t get as mad about it when he does it. You continue reading, but you spare a moment to respond to him. 

“I guess you can say that.” Your eyes are still glued to the words of the book. 

“But you like me.” He continues, you make the mistake of pulling your gaze away from your novel, meeting the annoying smirk he has on his face.

You open your mouth to speak but he beats you to it. “You do know I'm a man right?”

“Yes, I know you’re a man. I have eyes.” 

You watch his grin grow wider before you go back to reading your book. “And I don't like you, I just don’t hate you as much as the others.” 

You say, even though you're sitting in his bed, your hair pushed up into a bun and your glasses hanging loosely above your nose. It’s a Saturday night, you could be doing skin care with your girls or binging cartoons on Netflix. But you chose to be here, in his room spending time with him.

To him, that said a lot.

“Woah, so you're in love with me.” Sohee jokes partly.

“How did you come up with that?” You laugh, turning on your side to face him better. 

Sohee shrugs, “It’s a talent.” He wasn’t too far off. You often denied it whenever someone brought it up but if you were being honest. you were falling for him, faster and harder than you liked to admit. 

The more you resisted, the easier he made it. There wasn’t anything you could do, it was inevitable.

Almost as if it was fate. 

You laugh to yourself thinking about it, laying your book down and fully relaxing into the fluffy white pillows he has aligned on his bed. 

You’re fighting against sleep, trying your hardest to keep your heavy eyelids open. Taking long blinks until you finally give in and let yourself fall asleep. 

Sohee finally comes back with the water you asked him for but you’re already well into your slumber. He’s sure of it because when he gently calls your name all he gets in response is a soft snore. 

Rather than waking you up, he pulls your glasses off, closes them, and lays them on the bedside table. He leaves for a brief moment to get you another cover, laying it over top of you and turning the lights off so you can rest peacefully. While he took the couch for the night.

“Where were you?” Ningning scolds. Not even letting you walk all the way in the door before she starts bombarding you with questions 

“Do you know how long I stayed up waiting for you? I was worried sick.” She continues to yell at you when you finally squeeze past her and walk into the apartment. 

“You went to sleep at nine.” Winter exposes her

“I was worried sick.” Ningning repeats, swinging her index finger around. 

“I slept at Sohee’s.” You say almost in a whisper but Karina is somehow able to hear you all the way from her room. 

“What?” She runs out, “You slept at a man's house? With a man?” 

“Yes, and that’s all we did. So don’t get your expectations too high.” You scold, specifically pointing your finger at Ningning who’s bouncing with joy. You can already tell what she’s thinking before she even says it. 

“No, we didn’t sleep in the same bed,” 

The rain outside sounds more like a hail storm than anything else. You just wait by the entrance of the school and contemplate if you wanna walk home in this weather. 

The sound of the heavy wind isn’t so convincing but the boy waving at you with a bright smile might be enough to sway you. 

“What are you doing here?” You ask, mindlessly walking into the rainstorm to meet him face to face. 

“I came to walk you home.” He responds, his smile unwavering. 

“You shouldn’t have, you’re all wet now and it’s cold you’re gonna get sick.” You’re scolding him but he’s still grinning at you like an idiot. 

“I wanted to.” Is all he says locking eyes with you.

The rain could be snow, the sky might be purple but his eyes, you’re sure are brown. A brown that can only be seen with the help of the sun. Now that the sun was nowhere to be found they were so dark it could be categorized as black. 

You find them the most mesmerizing at this moment. You’re staring at him and he’s staring back at you. That’s when you take the opportunity to see how his lips feel, closing in the space in between you that not even a drop of rain can fit through. 

Isn’t it crazy how love can be found in the strangest of places, who would’ve thought you’d fall head over heels for the weirdo you met in a coffee shop? 

[toffeeanddragons]

10 Fandoms, 10 Characters, 10 Tags

Thank you so much @idle-brit for tagging me!This was lots of fun :) 💖

My tags: @delyth88, @elymusplant, @galaxythreads, @chemical-processes. No pressure to answer, of course :)

1. Loki (MCU)

As much as I love everyone on this list, there is absolutely no competition for number 1. Loki has been my favourite character of all time for nearly 6 years now (because clearly the best time to join someone's fandom is after they've just been murdered), and is showing absolutely no signs of being replaced anytime soon. I have a Loki blog, for god's sake. The brodinsons are my favourite relationship in any kind of media, ever. I love them so, so much. Loki's a million different things and feelings, all at the same time, all fighting with each other, which makes for a wonderfully complex and nuanced character. Also, he's hilarious. Look at that eye roll. This is a man who hates his life, which makes me feel better about mine. Thanks, Loki.

2. Klaus Hargreeves (The Umbrella Academy)

As will become obvious throughout this list, I love me an emotionally traumatised crazy person. Klaus is that. One of the characters who makes me laugh the most, ever, show-stopping dress sense, and a bucketload of unresolved trauma which goes largely ignored by Klaus, the other characters and the narrative itself? It was love at first sight. Their banter with the other characters, especially Ghost Ben (rip) is one of my favourite aspects of the show. Here's to hoping that Klaus won't be getting the Allison treatment in season 4!

3. Pippa Fitz-Amobi (A Good Girl's Guide to Murder)

I binge-read the entire AGGTM series earlier this year, and instantly fell in love with it. Pip is one of my favourite protagonists ever. Impossibly clever, compassionate, obsessive, badass, and a teensy bit unhinged. What's not to love? I would die for her. I'd say that I'd kill for her, but I think she's got that covered. I think she's written in a very realistic way, firstly as a genius 17 year old girl who doesn't really know what she's getting into, and later as a haunted individual who wants to stop investigating but can't. The way she politely knocks on people's front doors to dig up their traumas, accuse them of murder and all-round ruin their lives is everything to me. She is my blorbo. I am so, so excited for the show to come out, and I'm sure that Emma Myers will do a wonderful job as Pip!

4. Katniss Everdeen (The Hunger Games)

One of the best-written characters, in one of the best-written series ever. Reading from her perspective is such a delight- she's endlessly suspicious of everyone around her, constantly on survival mode, trusting very few people and relying on exactly no one (to begin with, at least). She's a random teenage girl, from the poorest district, and she wins the Hunger Games. She's so mentally unstable that she has to be sedated, and still she's made to be the face of a rebellion. She's rude, and kind of unlikeable. She adopts all the weakest tributes, at risk to herself, knowing that they won't win. She's doomed to fail by the narrative. She's the it girl of 2010s dystopian YA fiction. Jennifer Lawrence is an amazing actress, who does a beautiful job portraying the depth and conflict of Katniss in the films. The themes and social commentary of the Hunger Games is one of its (many) strong points, and I am so so glad that people are talking about it again, because it is my favourite book series out there.

5. Mitchell Pritchett (Modern Family)

I have no idea what to say about this man, I just love him. He just like me fr. What an icon. Impeccable music taste. I've started saying, "no my god" now, and nobody understands what I'm talking about. Even in a sitcom, my favourite is the one with issues that he refuses to talk about or fix. The episode where he's trying to hide that he dressed up as spiderman makes me cry-laugh. Claire's speech at his wedding makes me just cry. He's not a perfect man, but he's certainly better than everyone else.

6. Shin Tsukimi (Your Turn to Die)

My favourite cringefail loser! I said Katniss was doomed by the narrative in a metaphorical way. This idiot is actually doomed.

No but in all seriousness, I do really love him. Before the beginning of the game, he was just a relatively normal young man- but, when confronted with the inevitability of his own death, he made himself into a monster to survive. He has a violent vendetta against the local badass teenage girl, who is traumatised as hell already and does not need Shin chipping in as well, thank you very much. I love his relationship with Kanna, his biological sister; how he uses her, manipulates her, and still cares for her so much that he dies for her with a smile on his face in the Emotion route. Conversely, in the Logic route, his actions are a direct cause of her death, and I just love how much YTTD hates siblings. I hope that his past with Midori is explored more in either a mini-episode or the final part of the game, because I find it sooo interesting. I'm super excited to see whether he actually has no chance of survival, or whether he makes it out, against the odds, on one of the routes. He's a bit useless, so I won't get my hopes up.

7. Rue Bennett (Euphoria)

I think it goes without saying that Euphoria has its issues, lol. Sam Levinson is an idiot. While a lot of the show (especially season 2) feels shallow and like it doesn't care about its characters, Rue's storylines always have heart and depth and I am so invested in her arc. It's no wonder that Zendaya won 2 Emmys for this role, because her acting is phenomenal! Rue feels so real to me, in the way that she's trying so hard to stay sober but she falls down and relapses time and time again. Recovery isn't linear, but she's getting there, and I adore her with all my heart. Her relationships with Lexi, her mother, her sister, and her sponsor, Ali, are my favourites, and the healthiest for her, in my opinion. Her brief friendship/ romance with Jules may have kept her more solidly sober than anything else in the show, but Jules (understandably) cracks under the pressure of Rue's mental health, and can't be there for her. Rue needs to heal for herself, which she appears to be doing at the end of S2.

8. Max Mayfield (Stranger Things)

Duffer brothers, please just let her be happy.

Despite only being introduced in Season 2, Max has, in my opinion, had the best character development out of everyone on the show. Her growth from someone standoffish, rude, and uninterested in the group (maybe I'm being a bit harsh. She was, like, 12) to someone who is willing to risk her life to help her friends and Hawkins means so much to me. The scene in "Dear Billy" (S4, Ep4) where she escapes from Vecna remains my favourite in the whole show and will probably be burned into my brain forever. Her relationships with Lucas and El are very sweet, and some of my favourites in Stranger Things. Her final line in S4, after all her struggles over the season, being that she doesn't want to die literally breaks my heart. I hope she gets some degree of a happy ending in the final season. She was my first profile picture when I joined this hellsite, and I love her a lot.

9. Anne Shirley (Anne of Green Gables)

The shenanigans that this girl gets up to never fail to make me laugh. The bit where she accidentally dyes her hair green and then has to hack it all off makes me feel awful for her, but. it's hilarious. Sorry, Anne. Her friendship with Diana is so sweet but also so funny to me because they really are the most chaotic duo of the 1880s. The scene where Anne accidentally gives her alcohol instead of fruit juice is so mortifying but so, so funny. Amidst all of the insane situations that Anne gets into are a lot of really heartwarming moments and relationships. Matthew and Marilla adopting Anne, even though they wanted a boy, because she's so endearing and alone in the world is probably what made me who I am today. I still haven't gotten around to watching Anne with an E, but I've heard it's amazing. I look forward to watching it when I have the time :).

10. Daphne Blake (Scooby Doo)

My first ever favourite character! Another one who I don't have a tonne to say about. She's an icon, she's a legend, and she is the moment. She has done nothing wrong, ever. She knows martial arts, so watch out.

Honourable mentions: Thor (MCU), Finnick Odair (The Hunger Games), Gretchen Weiners (Mean Girls), Jake Peralta (Brooklyn 99), Maurice Moss (The IT Crowd), The Eleventh Doctor (Doctor Who), James (The End of the F***ing World), Ali Abdul (Squid Game).

If you read all of this then thanks, and have a great day!

[filthyjoetini]

Stumblin' In

a/n: Hello loves! I'm back! And this time I've pre written 3/4 of a story...who is she?! I don't know her. Soooo...this little story will have four parts and is (very) loosely based on something that happened in Venice when I saw Joe...(still not over it tbh...heh). Thank you to my warrior editor and influence for this story @barfightzanddiscolightz. <3

warnings: none

wordcount: 1.9k (she's short)

part 2 - part 3 - part 4

You blinked rapidly, trying to adjust your eyes to the brightness that suddenly overtook the previously dimly lit screening room of the cinema you were sitting in. Your brain just wasn't made for such quick changes, especially while it was still processing what had just happened on screen. The film you had chosen to watch was one of those arthouse indie productions that attracts all kinds of people from all walks of life.

Slowly you pushed yourself out of the plush seat and stretched your arms over your head. Your ever-weary limbs and joints popped, and you feared that one of the at least 50 other people in the room had heard it. 

Taking your time, you picked up your trusty leather jacket, which had once belonged to your father, and pulled it on. You shoved your hands into its pockets to retrieve your mobile phone. As you checked your unread messages, your eyes moved from the screen to your Dr. Martens-clad feet. You had undone the laces, wanting to be as comfortable as possible. Shrugging, you began to walk down the aisle, the laces whipping your jeans-covered calves, shins, and other seats along the way. You told yourself you would tie them once you had reached the atrium.

With your face almost buried in the screen of your phone, you stepped to the top of the stairs and began your descent. Not even three steps down, you stumbled over your now tangled shoelaces and instantly lost your footing. With a small yelp, you practically flew down the stairs, right into the back of someone's legs. The abrupt stop sent your phone flying down the hallway and past the curtain, as your head snapped back, slamming into the steps. The impact made your breath catch in your lungs and you let out a small whimper.

"Oh my God! Are you alright?"

With blurred vision and eyes refusing to cooperate, you tried to make out who was speaking to you. You knew it was a man from the voice, but his features were a mystery in the blur. Your eyes not working the way you wanted them to made you let out a frustrated sigh. You began slowly blinking your eyes, hoping for a clearer perspective, before giving up and closing them completely.

"Hey! No! Open your eyes!"

You sluggishly opened them again, your vision still as blurred as before. Lifting your arm, you tried to touch the man hovering above you. The movement sent a jolting pain through your arm, up your neck, and into the back of your head.

"Ouch.", you hissed.

"'Yeah, ouch.”, replied the still blurry man. "Please focus on me, can you do that for me?"

 "Yep.", you lied. You couldn't focus on shit, because in addition to your blurred vision, your head was throbbing like you'd been hit by a freight train.

"Okay. Cool. You hit your head pretty hard. Can you move your legs?"

You made slow, jerky movements with your legs, wiggling your toes in your boots, not realising he couldn't see them.

"Okay. They work. Good! That means, no spinal injury.”, the man said, obviously relieved. "I'm going to move you now, is that alright?"

You nodded and immediately regretted it. Your head hurt like hell. How could a carpeted step hurt so much?

Warm hands slowly pushed under your arms and knees and then suddenly, but slowly, strong arms lifted you up and close to an even warmer body. As gentle as he was, the movement of your body was still very uncomfortable and made you whimper again.

"I know. I'm sorry.”, the man who was now walking spoke softly. As you both passed through the curtain into the even brighter hallway, you turned your head towards the man's chest to avoid the glaring overhead lights. You pressed your face into the fabric of his top and inhaled deeply. He smelled damn good.

"...is there a room I can take her to? She hit her head on the stairs when she fell. Also, could you call the A&E, I think she has a concussion."

"Sure, follow me please.”, a new feminine voice said and then there was a static crackle. "Henry, can you please call A&E, we have an injured woman with a suspected concussion."

"Copy. A&E is being called.”, came back Henry's very staticky voice over what you assumed was a walkie-talkie.

A few moments later you heard a door open and were carried very carefully into a small, office-like room.

"You can put her on the sofa. The paramedics will be here any minute."

Gently you were lowered onto the sofa. Gone were the strong arms and the warmth, and you began to shiver. Your eyes slowly began to focus, and you could finally see, though still blurred, the man who had been helping you. He was tall and handsome. His dark blonde hair was curly, and his face had a very patchy five o'clock shadow. But the most striking thing about his face was his huge, baby cow eyes, which were currently wearing a worried expression. Your gaze moved slowly down his body. He was wearing brown trousers with black loafers and a beige cable-knit jumper, topped off with a very expensive looking black trench coat. Visually, he was the exact opposite of you. You had opted for your usual all-black autumn outfit.

With a small but noticeable smile, you closed your eyes for a second and another shiver ran through your body. Unexpectedly, you were suddenly covered by a blanket. Slowly you opened your eyes to see that it wasn't a blanket, but the man's trench coat.

"Thank you...", you whispered. You were surprised at how weak your voice sounded, but the drowsiness that was slowly creeping up on you made it difficult to speak. Your eyes closed again.

"You're welcome...hey! No! Don't fall asleep!"

"But I'm so sleepy."

"I know, but you can't."

The man's voice was very close now, and as you felt hands cupping your face, your eyes shot open again. You looked up at him with wide eyes, he was kneeling beside the sofa and his own eyes held yours in an equally steady gaze.

“You literally can’t fall asleep because you took quite the tumble there, Humpty Dumpty and I’m 99 percent sure you incurred a concussion.”, he explained with a grin. "Besides, you keep moving your head when you should be holding it still. If I have to hold your face to keep you awake and mostly still, I will gladly continue holding it."

You didn't respond to him. You just kept staring at him and he had the audacity to just stare back at you with his big, wet, brown puppy dog eyes. 

A few moments later there was a knock on the door and two paramedics with a stretcher made their way inside.

"Hello there! You must be our patient.”, one of the paramedics said as he made his way over to you. He then looked down at Mr. Baby-Cow-Puppy-Eyes and spoke again. "Sir, may I ask you to move so we can examine her?"

"Uh... sure.”, he replied, taking his hands off your face, slowly rising to his feet. You groaned weakly as his fingers lightly brushed your jaw and he let out a soft snort before turning to the medic. "I was just trying to keep her awake. She fell down the stairs and hit her head on one of the bottom steps."

"Thank you.”, the second paramedic said, moving in to examine your head and neck. Your rescuer stepped back and moved to the corner of the room with his arms crossed over his chest to wait. He was still in your line of sight, so you looked at him occasionally to make sure he was still there, and every time you did, he smiled sweetly at you.

"Ooookay.", the second paramedic said as soon as she concluded her examination. "You have a mild to moderate concussion and swelling on the back of your head. We need to take you to the hospital for a 24-hour observation."

You frowned at her, and she smiled sympathetically. "Do you want your boyfriend to come with us?"

"Who?" you asked, a confused expression on your face.

"Him.”, she said, pointing to the corner where your knight in a cable-knit jumper was standing.

"I'm not her boyfriend. I'm the one she collided with.”, he chuckled and shook his head.

"Alright, I'll take that as a no.”, the paramedic grinned at him and then down at you. "Are you ready to be hoisted onto the stretcher?" 

"Um...", you started, then suddenly panicked as you softly patted your jacket and jeans pockets. Your mobile phone - you didn't have it on you. "Wait! My phone! It must have slipped out of my hand or pockets when I went all humanoid egg earlier..."

Your reference to the handsome man's earlier statement made him burst out into laughter.

"She hasn't lost her sense of humour. Good.”, the first paramedic said with a chuckle, and began to lift you up by your feet, while the other paramedic assisted him by simultaneously lifting you up by your torso. The coat that still covered you was about to slip off your body if you hadn't grabbed it as if it were your lifeline. In a way it was your lifeline, for you were still cold, and the weight of the fabric did an excellent job of keeping you warm.

"I'll go look for it. Just give me a second.”, expensive trench coat guy announced, and quickly slipped out of the room.

Not even five minutes later he returned, waving your mobile phone in the air.

"Here you go.”, he smiled, handing you the phone but not letting go of it. "Please keep me informed about your condition." Just as he started to remove his hand from your phone, he added: "And you can keep my coat for now, but I want it back at some point."

"OK. I will, and you'll get it back... at some point.”, you promised, as the two paramedics wheeled you out of the small room. Halfway down the hallway you suddenly realised that you didn't have his contact details. How were you going to let him know how you were?

"Wait! Stop!", you shouted, making yourself jump more than the two people you were addressing. "Can you please turn around?"

"All right, but just for a second. We really need to get you to the hospital.”, the male paramedic explained impatiently, and they both turned the stretcher around and were about to push you back when you saw him standing in the hallway, leaning against the wall.

"I don't have your number!", you called, waving your mobile.

"Check your contacts.”, he urged with a wink, before pushing himself away from the wall and walking the other way. "Keep me updated!"

"I will!"

The two paramedics turned the stretcher around again and began to push it hastily towards the cinema's delivery entrance where the ambulance was parked. All the while, you unlocked your phone to see if he had really left you his number. He had to have. How else would he get his coat back?

Quickly, you opened your contacts app and there it was: a new entry.

Next to the emoji with the bandage on its head was his name:

Joe.

Grinning to yourself, you locked your phone and put it to your chest as the ambulance sped off to the hospital...

Taglist:

@ohmeg @daleyeahson @lma1986 @palomahasenteredthechat @mandyjo8719 @aysheashea @eddiebaemunson @littledemon-lilith @freakymunson @sidthedollface2 @i-wont-run-this-time @plk-18 @miserybeans @kylakins88 @deadspellz @thehillzhaveeyez @kayleeelena97 @foreverjosephquinn @punctualhowell @icallhimjoey @ghostinthebackofyourhead @siriuslysmoking @cancankiki @definitionwanderlust @eriancrow @1paire2vans @theonewiththecrackedmind @captainonaboat @josephquinnsfreckles @emilyslutface @alessxaa

crossed out = couldn't tag

[callisto-cecilia]

I have sooo many thoughts about Diluc hes my babygirl and im lowkey obsessed with him so here we are

contains: nsfw headcannons (please dni if under 18), soft dom diluc, blowjobs, eating you out/fingering, cockwarming, not gender specific but vaguely written with afab reader in mind. Can be interpreted however you want though idc. real long post i rant a lot

-------

He's more dominant, but hes gentle. He's in charge but he's in it for your pleasure. He wants you to feel good! Service top all the way. Anyone who says he's a mean dom is simply incorrect xoxo (i respect your headcannons i just dont agree lol)

He needs to be as close to you as physically possible when you're fucking. He's passionate, always kissing you or holding you close to him. Any position where he can look at your face is great as well, he wants to see your expressions so he knows what you like.

He likes it when you sit in his lap so he can wrap his arms around your waist, pulling you tight against him while he thrusts up into you.

Another favorite is you laying on your back so he can either fuck you or eat you out, he goes crazy a little bit if you wrap your legs around him. He loves your thighs, always marking them up.

The guy has no clue how to handle it when you're pleasuring him though. If you ever give him a blowjob expect him to flush as red as his hair, trying his best to muffle his moans and leaning his head back to let out shakey breaths as you make him feel good. He might apologize if he cums on your face, but secretly he thinks you look gorgeous like that. He's not the type to thrust up into your throat unless he's super needy. Tease him a little bit, it'll be fun!

If he ever sees you wearing one of his shirts it would actually be over for him. Seeing you in his shirt, ESPECIALLY if its that and nothing else, would be his limit and he would genuinely have to take you then and there.

Surprisingly, not very into cockwarming. Well... he is in theory. He loves the idea of it, you on his lap while he's working at his desk, but feeling you squeeze around him and being so close to you makes him too needy. If you cockwarm him expect to be bent over his desk within minutes, or you'll end up with him bouncing you up and down on his cock as he buries his face in the crook of your neck with a muffled moan.

You already know this man is strong, it takes a lot of muscle to swing around a giant weapon as effortlessly as he does. He takes pride in that, and being able to pick you up or maneuver you around definitely adds to that.

He's SO GOOD with his hands, which are the prettiest actually. Long fingers with neat nails. His hands arent slender or broad, very average actually, but they are pretty. His veins are visible too which is hot. Knows exactly how to curl his fingers to hit all the spots to have you falling apart for him.

[silverskye13]

talks to u

You will regret talking to me I'm very very sorry

So recently my sister has been reading out loud to me [it is very fun I wish I had someone to read out loud to] and the book she picked was Haunting on the Hill. This book was an absolute minefield of a read because it was advertised as a spiritual sequel to Haunting of Hill House and HOHH is probably one of the books I've been the most emotionally invested in ever. Mostly because I see people take the book and Try To Do It Better constantly, and they do it wrong over and over and over again. I don't know how this became My Hill To Die On, but no one can do a remix of the genre right, especially those that pretend like they're trying to.

Hell House, for example, a book that I hate with my entire being, was a very intentional stab at HOHH. It took the trope of four people -- one a slightly older gentleman who is doing research on the property -- two women -- who is a lonely homebody, and one who is a (implied) bisexual psychic -- and one younger man about their age who has some Obvious Substance Abuse Problems, and sets them in a haunted house to try and figure out why its haunted. The author then spends the rest of the book punishing those characters for obvious perceived societal slights. The old man's sin is being old, and dies because he isn't virile and strong enough to withstand the house [unlike the young male protagonist]. The psychic is punished for believing she is psychic, being a confident woman who lives alone, and being implied bisexual [this is evident in the nature of her death, which I won't share here. It's fucking bad]. Then after these characters die, the white male savior comes back, something to do with the old owner of the house haunting it with his willpower, in a closet with a glass of water? It made no sense. But the metaphor the book was obviously leaning towards was, the Good Guy can win and get the girl if he has strength of mind, is vaguely psychic [but better than the psychic lady obviously] and fucking stands around long enough while his friends are killed.

House on the Hill, which should have been marketed as a reference to Hill House and not as a spiritual successor, is a passable haunted house book that attempts to remix the story by making all of the main characters theater kids. There is an older lady who has been ousted from her community for being too old, the young woman main protagonist who is the Ellie parallel, the Theadora parallel is her girlfriend, a bisexual actress who is maybe a little too full of herself, and their single male character has a substance abuse problem involving cocaine instead of alcohol, like Luke from the original book. The author even seems to have grasped some of the original intention of HoHH as a conversation about isolation and loneliness. However about halfway through the book, it takes a turn and seems to punish Theadora for being the character she was written as, in the same way Hell House punished its Theadora allegory character. The rest of the book proceeds with a lot of standard haunted house tropes -- not a bug exactly, but they don't reinforce any extended metaphor. They're mostly there to be spooky. Which would be fine for a standard haunted house book, but not for a haunted house book that claims its the sequel to HoHH.

You see, Haunting of Hill House, and by extension, Shirley Jackson, the author, have a very subtle but also deeply impactful metaphor about loneliness going on in the background, and everything from the haunted house to the fallout of the characters reemphasizes this theme.

Ellie, Eleanor, is an exhausted housewife-style woman in the 1960s, whose never gone anywhere or done anything with her life, because instead of marrying and moving across the country somewhere, she stayed home to take care of her ailing mother. Now that her mother is dead, she lives with her sister and brother-in-law, and believes herself to be a general tax on the family. She fills stuck, alone, unloved and unwanted. The story is in her point of view, and you quickly realize her way of coping with her trapped feelings involves fantasticizing the world around her. She dreams of who she would be if she just lived over there in that little cottage, how differently her life would turn out if she had a cute little life in that one room house. Etc. When she accepts the summons to Hill House, she steals her brother in law's car and drives there on her own, her first trip alone anywhere in her entire life.

Theadora is a psychic who, if I'm remembering right, lives alone and owns a flower shop. She lives a much more interesting lifestyle than most women in the 60s, in a big city with many different friends and lovers coming and going, completely independent. There is an implication that she has trouble keeping interpersonal relationships -- she's a little too flighty -- and really a woman who can't settle down with a man is a red flag.

Doctor Montague seems fine on the surface, if a little jaded. He's a professor at university who is being slowly pushed out of his scientific field because he believes in the supernatural, and wants to prove it using empirical evidence. You find out his wife is very supportive in this venture -- too supportive. He thinks all of her contributions are nonsense, and so is she. His loneliness is self inflicted. He has a fan club right there with his wife, if he gave two shits about her opinions.

Last is Luke, an alcoholic, and the person in line to inherit Hill House. His loneliness is that he, doesn't want the fuckin' house. But because of his alcoholism and gambling problems, the family has decided he, as the cursed child, gets to take care of the cursed mansion no one else wants to touch. So Luke, ostracized from the family and a little shitty about it, decides he might as well rent out the place for some extra cash to fuel his various addictions. The family is going to be cutting him off soon anyway...

These four characters, over the course of Hill House, become haunted by the house, not because of tragic deaths there, or because the house is alive in any literal sense of the word. But because the House has the quality of an overbearing mother, smothering its children with its expectations. Any piece of furniture moved in the place is replaced as soon as they leave the room. Any door opened to allow air or light inside is shut the minute they walk into the next. The house rights itself back to a self-inflicted perfection that is unlivable, and it wants to isolate you too, to be like it. Hill House tells you exactly what it is and what it wants to do in the first paragraph: And all who walk there, walk alone.

Shirley Jackson wrote this very intentionally. As a woman in the 60s trying to have a successful writing career, none of her books were taken seriously. She was pigeonholed into mother and housewife first. Articles that wrote about her works at the time held the patronizing tone of someone congratulating a child who found a new hobby -- not a serious writer wanting to make poignant stories. Her books are lovely now, the few that were published. But Shirley Jackson lived a life that was full of anxiety and agoraphobia, in a world where she felt belittled and token. Her books are written the way they are for a reason. There is great loneliness in being shoved in a box.

I really love that exploration. I love how the people in the book descend into the box of Hill House, the expectations they place on each other, and the way all the women feel tonally dissonant in their token roles. And that's why I hate so many modern adaptations, or inspired-bys, or spiritual sequels. Hill House is a metaphor before it's a ghost story -- and that is why it succeeds as a ghost story! It is scary because you get invested in the characters' wellbeings, their doomed qualities, their individual, very subtle, madnesses. Watching new writers read the book and punish those characters over and over again for not acting right [especially Theadora, Jesus Christ.]

In fact, since I'm already ranting, I'm going to give you a quick rant in defense of Theadora.

Theadora breaks into the book as a very bright star in Ellie's world. She is, literally, everything Ellie wishes she could be. She lives an interesting life, alone, without being too cripplingly lonely. Theadora, used to a little bit of flirting and over friendliness, falls in with Ellie and Luke immediately. She is charming, and bright and beautiful, and Ellie, who's character flaw is romanticizing everything, falls head over heels for her. They get scared together. They comfort each other when the ghosts start acting up. They get haunted together. And Ellie decides, in the way of someone romanticizing something, when all this is over, she would like to live with Theo. But when she tells Theo this, Theo laughs it off. "This is just a holiday, Ellie dear. We will have to get back to our lives eventually." It's unfair to say this is a game for Theadora. I feel like her feelings in the book, all her charm and her flirting, are genuine. But they're genuine in the way of someone going on vacation and flirting around with the people they meet -- she has a normal life she enjoys that she plans on getting back to. Ellie, who is incredibly alone, and who feels like she has only just tasted happiness now that she's come to Hill House, doesn't want to go back home after this. This is the happiest she's ever been.

Ellie informs Theo she is going to follow Theo home, and Theo turns very, very mean. She starts hitting much harder on Luke [something that makes Luke uncomfortable, but something he never really stops, because Luke also likes the attention he's getting] and belittling Ellie and her wild fantasies. She pushes Ellie away. It isn't kind, but what else can she do? She told Ellie she doesn't want to be followed home and Ellie, trapped in her daydreams, doesn't listen.

The rest of the book unfolds. Hill House isolates Ellie, and makes her feel like she can have no happiness outside its smothering walls. She gets taken by it.

In every book that takes on the mantle of trying to tackle the themes that made Hill House great, I would like to ask you all this: Why do they always punish Theo?

Hell House straight up kills its Theo allegory in a very brutal, overt way, implying she deserves that brutality for her promiscuity. The House on the Hill kills its Theo for being too full of herself, for believing she was entitled to greatness.

Why?

You can make a case for the queer aspects of her probably. Or for misogyny. Or for infidelity. Or for the fact that she appears to choose Luke over her relationship with Ellie. But I notice none of these books punish their Ellie allegory for also falling for Theo. For also aspiring to be something other than a stuffy housewife somewhere. For also falling for Luke, and wanting him to be a part of her happiness fantasy.

In honesty, I really think these authors read Theo and think she's the antagonist. So they write their stories to punish the angry woman who was mean to poor, lonely Ellie. But, here's the kicker, Theadora isn't the antagonist. The house is. Loneliness is. The house leads Ellie to a perfect world, and Ellie, who is the way that she is, cannot fathom a world where that perfection is broken, so she ignores it. So she scares people with her over-attachment. So they try to send her away, because whatever is going on with her, it's not safe and it needs to stop. So she decides she would rather die than leave.

Theadora is only "the bad guy" because she's the one that reminds everyone that the fantasy of this perfect house must break eventually. The Doctor will have to go back to his university that doesn't take him seriously and his wife who takes him too seriously. Theadora will have to go back to her shop with her rotating friends who aren't as close as she'd like, but whom she can't force to stay. Luke will have to go back to his place as the unwanted, failing heir and Eleanor --

Well. Eleanor doesn't leave Hill House.

Everyone gets so mad at Theodora because of Ellie's investment in her. Because Ellie is lonely, and sad, and relatable. The first time I read Hill House, some of Ellie's lines made me want to cry they hit so close to home. All her assertions that when she spoke to people she said too much and was too stupid, she would be better tomorrow. All her quiet chastisements that she needs to be more interesting. All her attachments and how scared she is of being spurned. All her wonder when she looks around at the world and tries to imagine a better life. But it's not Theodora's fault that Ellie doesn't get that. It's Ellie's fault for becoming too attached to something that isn't there, and it sucks, and if this were a story with a happy ending, she would realize that and grow past that, but she doesn't. That's not how the story is written.

On one of the nights when the haunting happens, Ellie and Theo are sharing a room. They are laying in bed and holding hands while the house comes alive around them. Knocking on the walls. Slamming doors. Claws, and whispering, and scraping and screaming. Ellie and Theo hold each other's hands tightly. She hears the torturous sounds of a baby in the other room, a child in pain, screaming for its mother, and she's terrified and she's holding tight to Theadora's hand.

And finds, when the haunting stops, that Theo was out of reach the whole time.

Ellie asks, who's hand was I holding?

[The Haunting of Hill House is a metaphor.]

One of these days I'm going to sit down and write the Haunting of Hill House remake in my head, that I am just egotistical enough to believe I could do well. I would find a more modern metaphor first. Something to do with the loneliness of an infinitely interconnected world. Something to do with how boxed in we all feel, how trapped, and how so many people blame it on computers, even though they should be able to connect us more.

I would build a Hill House where the four characters meet on a forum, the first time they've found someone with similar interests. They would meet in person for this haunting expedition. They too would take in the oddness of a house that rights itself on its own, pretends they were never there. They two would fall in love with each other, and bond, and find community in a group of people who are constantly isolated and are glad to finally find someone they relate to.

They too would have to dear with the objective, lonely horror of realizing this doesn't magically fix their problems. That they were alone in the rest of their lives not just because the world isolated them, but because they're bad at forming connections. They would get catty, and disagree, and worry about the lives they need to go back to, and complain about spouses and partners. And one of them, as is Hill House's tithe, wouldn't be able to cope.

One of them, as is Hill House's tithe, wouldn't be able to leave.

Anyway, not sure where exactly this rant was going. Uh. Nice Sunday we're having anon. Got any niche special interests you've been meaning to unload recently?

[hermesmoly]

I just realized that Kaos tried so hard to turn Orpheus and Eurydice into Helen and Menelaus.

That reminds me of how ppl also try to write Hephaestus and Aphrodite as Helen and Menelaus.

(Again, is true love really a boring plot line nowadays? Man, Let Eurydice like her husband.)

Yeah the uh. “Sacrificing Loyal Boyfriend /Evil Cheating Girlfriend Who Doesn’t Deserve it” trope. Done to a couple who in the myths just really loved each other. Boo 👎👎👎

The thing is the premise was a bit promising at the start; Orpheus going to the Underworld for a Eurydice that has fallen out of love for him. While watching them I found myself asking questions like: Would you fight death itself for someone even if you knew they wouldn’t do the same for you? If they didn’t love you the way you love them? The answer being yes is essentially Menelaus’ drive, because to Menelaus, especially to Menelaus, Helen was worth fighting for. It’s why he (all heavily morally questionable aspects of it aside) wages war and all its consequences to get Helen back home. Love is a strong motivator, thorns and all. The only difference between Menelaus and Orpheus is Menelaus wielding a spear and a thousand men to prove it while Orpheus had only his lyre and his words as a great poet.

AND THE POINT, THE POINT of the Orpheus Eurydice myth is even if their love was doomed, even if he knew the ending, Orpheus would have still loved her, he still would have tried to traversed the Underworld for her, and he still would have looked back, because he loved her. Most accounts have Eurydice die shortly after their wedding— they never even had a chance to settle down, to have a family, to grow old together. The grief of that pain to be translated through song was enough to melt a King’s heart.

Eurydice in the myths was worth fighting for. Eurydice in the show however? Didn’t even seem to care about Orpheus at all. Like not even as a friend. The two episodes I’ve watched had Eurydice being so good at faking being in love Orpheus dedicates songs to her. Despite what we see that she never makes an actual effort for Orpheus. How do you sing your heart out for a woman who doesn’t even remember your favorite cereal? It’s just so laughably bad and written with no care.

As for Hephaestus/Aphrodite… I can see the temptation to make them Like That but it just isn’t comparable. Helen leaving Troy (either via force or willingness) leaving Menelaus and Hermione behind is too different from Hephaestus learning of Aphrodite's infidelity by lying to him about Eros’ (and seemingly Harmonia’s) parentage. Helen could have made an impulsive decision, could have agreed to it only to regret it or maybe she wasn’t given a choice, but it's leagues better than Aphrodite lying straight to Hephaestus’ face, even if she regrets it. Just let them divorce!!!

[flamedraco]

On that note, let's talk about shrike Quackity.

The first thing that ever got me thinking about Quackity as a shrike was the fic "how to spot a butcherbird" by nononameme-Library (sparrowsong07).

Sparrow had apparently written about Shrike Q before but I can't remember if I ever read that fic or not. As far as I can tell: This was the original creator of Shrike Quackity. Everyone say thank you to Sparrow because they were brilliant for thinking of it.

Shrike Quackity is an interesting concept to me because it adds another layer to his character and just fits. Both because of his Butcher Army arc and the idea of his turn to villainy being an almost self fulfilling prophecy in a way.

Quackity was a kind person who liked making people laugh, but imagine under all that, the jokes, the laughter, was the instincts of a predatory songbird. A songbird that wanted to hunt. To impale prey to make up for dull talons. A bird that wants to nest in brambles and thorns to defend itself, with the guts and attitude to rival a raptor, a bird of prey. That turns his arc from a steady decline, to the slow wear and tear of trying to repress violent instincts just begging to be released.

He is the leader of the Butcher Army. A shrike's namesake, specifically the Loggerhead and Northern shrikes, being Butcher Bird. A bird that uses its environment, its tools, to make up for its own weakness. A clever, cunning type of bird.

"Nature's Serial Killer," I remember reading once. Which makes sense. A shrike is the type of bird to display its brutality for multiple reasons. To mark territory, to attract mates, and to store its prey. Impaling smaller birds, insects, rodents on these sharpened points in nature. Northern Shrikes court their partners via mock chases, hunting their potential partner down until the other decides they've had enough. Loggerheads share food and hunt for their partners, again, attracting through their open displays of kills. Showing that they are a strong, successful hunter.

Shrikes are bloody and brutal little songbirds with a lot of attitude and generally unafraid to try and take on threats that are much bigger than them. They're the kind of bird that gives me that same "I've drank five redbulls, snorted a line of crack, and I'm ready to fight god or die trying" energy that Quackity does.

It works especially well because usually I slot him into a more "villainous" role in my stories. Villain, demon, etc. Generally a creature or title that implies more malicious intent.

This is the same guy who canonically ate the heart of a past lover and tortured a man just because he could.

Also I find the idea of him chasing Wilbur around and calling it romantic funny. Sooo, there's that.

It's not my fault shrikes are the yanderes of the bird world /j

[em0-alpaca]

after like over half a year or smth i finally finished him

meet Dante, the master of light!!! [srry for the bad english, i dont think ive ever written lore for any of my ocs lol]

HIS LORE IS STILL A WIP SO SOME THINGS MIGHT NOT WORK WITH CANON!! [i might miss some details, but thats because i dont wanna write too much]

plus in my au, Wu met Morro when the Elemental Alliance was created already and before Acronix and Krux betrayed them. [if.. thats not already canon lol, i dont keep up with when anything happened]

_____________________________________________

THE PAST:

[12-16 y.o.]

- He was one of the most determined and challenging teenagers, training hard.

- Dante has been the youngest member of the Elemental Alliance, making him the main interest as every single elemental master trained him. [his parents went to a journey, leaving him with Wu ans Garmadon at the monastery and they never came back. no one knows what happened to them, although, that didnt effected him much as he was often left with Wu.]

- when Dante was 16 years old, Morro was taken in under the blonde man wings. At first he didnt like it, but after some time he grew warmer to the jet-black haired boy, taking him for a younger brother and training with him. He mightve gotten more protective over him.

- Dante, too, believed that Morro was the green ninja after Wu talked about it, encouraging him and and lifting his hopes up subconsiously. the rest of the story is obvious.. this was one of the moments that really affected him.

- as he watched the EA fall apart, he craved for more power to fight against evil and find his little brother. he was told his whole life that he should never take his power for granted as its one of the strongest elements, especially with him being exposed to the main source of light very often. Dante, on the other hand, couldnt really deal with others leaving.

HIS ABILITIES:

- can bend and materialize light into weapons [his weapon of choice were mostly his light blades, but anything dual wielded was fine for him].

- he could move at the speed of light, often did it to attack his enemies from suprise [not a stealthy ability as he leaves glowing bright lights behind him when using it].

- can flashbang others by either throwing a small light ball at their eyes or snapping his fingers.

- as hes pretty strong during sunny days, at night and on cloudy days he usually uses weapons from Wu. [that doesnt mean he cant use his elemental power, but during his youth his power wasnt so strong with absence of the sun. it only changed what weapons he uses though]

[18- 27y.o.?]

- one night after sneaking out to clear his mind, a strange figure approached him. it was a tall one, hidden under the black cloak. everyone knew who Dante was, so with no beating around the bush, the mysterious man gave him an offer in joining him. green haired boy declined his offer immediately, but after what he heard he was shocked.. the mysterious man told him that he would help him find his so-called younger brother.

- after making him believe he can erase the evil from all of the ninjago he joined the cult. They burned the mark on his face to officialy take him as their member, making him their leader. the longer he stayed with them, the more corrupted and brainwashed he was, turning him into their weapon. they formed a plan, making an elemental burst and trying to erase "the evil".

- one day, he started his journey to look for Morro, going for days and days into every part of Ninjago, only to find his cold body in the Cave of Despair. he grieved him for a good few hours before finding a field to bury him and let him rest in peace.

- his desire for ubspeakable strenght grew bigger, forcing him into trying to create artificial element of light and mixing it with his own. this, unfortunalety, worked horribly with his mental state and making him more of a villain. when he attacked the city once, Wu was devastated and tried to help him. this lead them to have a fight with Wu desparately trying to convince him and change his mind. Wu after that meeting tried to talk with other elemental masters to stop Dante.

- when the city got under Dantes control after the cult betrayed him and he fought with the new-built Elemental Alliance, he used the Elemental burst. unfortunately, his light element mixed with the artificial one made him fail to destroy anything other the city. this, made him half-blind and left him scarred on his limbs, losing his power.

- after that he finally snapped out of his sinister desires and managed to ran away unnoticed from the city somewhere far away.

PRESENT [WIP]:

[30↑]

- he lives far far away from the town and anyone else in a small cottage house out of shame.

- if necessary, he comes out of the house in disguise to buy some food. hes had various jobs already, but his bad eyesight [no glasses helped with his vision] he couldnt work in too many for too long.

- his elemental power was slowly recovering, but due to the fact that it was corrupted and mixed with the artificial one, it was infecting his body, making it age slower and weakening him over time.

- after so many years he started recieving money in his mail.. perhaps from someone with a kind heart?

- he tries to stay away from anyone with elements and people who couldve been a part of a terror he caused, especially away from Wu.

_____________________________________________

ive been thinking of making another oc [his child] so for now im not planning on adding too much!!

im not really sure what to add to him in present Dante, but im up for any ideas. :) also i was too lazy to draw more doodles lol!

[cannibalovers]

Hannibal song of the day : song no. 5

a bit about the song:

"Breezeblocks"(released in 2012) is song by alt-J, written by Thom Sonny Green, Gwilym Sainsbury, Gus Unger-Hamilton & Joe Newman(the whole group), most likely their most popular song. It starts off mellow and quiet guitar, interchanging between build ups and drops with synthesisers and a lot of deep bass, drums and other percussion instruments till the end of the song, which ends with an arrangement of overlapping vocals, like a choir. It fits genres like indie rock, indie pop, art rock and folktronica. The song itself tells a story of two lovers, where one of them wants to leave the relationship, feeling unsafe and unfulfilled but the other is obsessive and deranged and so in love that they don't let the other leave, the desire and love being so strong that they dare to hurt their lover and themselves just to make them stay. There can be another meaning to the song when taking the music video into the account(that the group themselves said is kind of different but managed to fit the vibe), which is filmed in reverse, presenting a narrative where a man kills a woman(maybe an ex or smth) who was most likely keeping his wife hostage. Since the chain of events is presented in reverse, it looks as if the man is the abusive lover trying to kill his wife, although by the end we find out he was actually defending his wife and killed the woman that kidnapped his wife, sending a message to not judge a book by its cover - don't assume and judge until you know the full story. It also references a book "Where the Wild Things Are" by Maurice Sendak, talking about a young boy who misbehaved badly at home and got scolded for it. His hostile and intense emotions sent him to an imaginary jungle with creatures called "The Wild Things". In this world, he feels appreciated and powerful as the wild things make him a king, but as soon as he realises the responsibilities a king has are hard, he wants to leave and go back home, to his loving mother who took care of him and coudl depend on, but the creatures don't want him to leave, threatening cannibalism (woah i wonder why I am writing this), saying "Oh, please don’t go! We’ll eat you whole! We love you so!". The band thought of it as a very powerful image and referenced these words in the song. In the end, the boy does manage to get away, unlike the lover of this song.

yeah sorry for the long intro to the song um. i've loved this song for years I swear I could listen to it forever so.

overall the song creates such a chilling mix between aggression and affection it's just so fucking insane and well. very hannigram. I think that was expected. Tbh i feel like it's prob known to fannibals, i made a post once asking ppl for song recommendations for hannibal and this song has shown up a few times and honestly? it fits them SO. WELL. especially when you think about the whole mizumono episode. The music video reminded me of mizumono a lot... so I'll be basing this on that episode a lot...

Pardon me for the pain i'm gonna provide today<3

------------------------------

Verse 1

"She may contain the urge to run away But hold her down with soggy clothes and breezeblocks"

The girl doesn't want to be in the relationship with the man anymore, maybe recognizing that he is not in a good state of mind or she just believes they're not fit for each other anymore, whichever it is, she is contemplating getting out of the relationship, which she feels trapped in, or the man feels like he's scaring her away, hence her "running away"; He doesn't like this, being way too attached for her, he can't just let her run away after the comfort she brought him and the strong emotions he developed towards her, so he decided to weigh her down (literally) by drowning her with breezeblocks. Metaphorically, Breezeblocks are blocks used for building houses and are supposed to represent foundation here, so perhaps he has been making her stay by guilt tripping her about everything that they have built together and the fact that she can't just "leave behind" the trust, support, stability and safety that they have gained from each other - the foundation of their relationship. After she wasn't giving her idea of leaving up, he decided to actually weight her down with their foundation in forms of breezeblocks. In my eyes, the soggy clothes could also have a little bit of meaning, soggy clothes being quite uncomfortable and probably clinging to her(just like he does) - perhaps they're soggy from the times he was guilt tripping her, perhaps tears were shed and her clothes getting soggy just represent the manipulation and fakeness of them, or the severity of the situation and how long it has been going on and how this has affected her (made her feel heavy at heart and uncomfortable)

I think these lyrics summarise THE monologue in Mizumono and hannigram's plans quite perfectly. Will wanting to run away (from hannibal unfortunately...) and as Hannibal realised his plan of betrayal, reacted very aggressively by literally gutting him (sogging his clothes with blood ig) and breaking down the foundation they have built, more or so with words, but also the knife he uses. At this point I have no idea if its a linoleum knife (knife used for building, houses, rugs and FOUNDATIONS OF A BUILDING.) or a kerambit or smth else but I'll stick to the linoleum here(also check out this post about his choice for the knife, it drives me fucking insane) and say that this is how Hannibal tears down the foundation they have built together. Not only does he gut him, he talks to Will about how betrayed he feels that he was planning to leave him, after letting Will see him, after building this foundation of trust and support for each other. Hannibal was there, understanding Will and offering support and stability and he saw that Will could provide it for him back, which he chose to do only to get closer to him to betray him and take away his happiness (Will...) and stable, carefully crafted life he had. Will was something very important to Hannibal, a person that changed him and made him feel love for once, and then he lied about accepting him. He can't handle losing Will so he would make him stay and tear him down, hurt him, if that's what it would take.

"Cetirizine, your fever’s gripped me again Never kisses, all you ever send are fullstops (La la la la)"

Citrizine is a medicine used for fevers, suggesting the man is so obsessed with her that she makes him ill and stressed (overheated and overwhelmed and overthinking, hence the fever) and he needs medicine. She is constantly rejecting him, rejecting his affections and never giving any to him but instead stopping him, although it can also allude to texts, her not ending them with "xx" (kisses) but with full stops, being quite cold and distant with him.

well first, for the show it can allude to how Hannibal literally gave Will a fever and the amount of aspirin Will took cuz of that if we take this literally, but that mean the roles would have to switch so, instead in my eyes I think of how bothered and overwhelmed Will probably made Hannibal feel the more interested and obsessive he got over Will. I can't imagine how many times this man probably thought of him everyday and overthought stuff (jesus seriously hes obsessed) and how ill and diseased (although alive) Hannibal probably felt (maybe diseased and ill after he knew Will's plan...); the affections the girl is rejecting from her lover could represent how distant Will was with Hannibal at first.

"Do you know where the wild things go? They go along to take your honey (La la la la)"

This is a reference from the book "Where the Wild Things Are". The band suggested that the lyrics are about jealousy, the protagonist being jealous of other people who are catching his lovers attention instead of him, maybe this is a conversation between them about this concern, telling his lover that those people are bad and will use her and leave her(take away her honey); Maybe he's trying to convince her that he would never do that - although he technically is, eating away at whatever support and love(the honey) she has to offer for him.

I feel like this presents why Hannibal decided to isolate Will in the first place, taking away everything from him (or at least how he wants Will to see it, as we know that he was just trying to make his plan come true and return some of the things Will cared about so much). He saw everything that Will had interest in (Alana, Abigail, although he kept her for Will, Margot's child etc) as a threat to his plan of having Will all to himself and so he took them away - because he believed that they were both bad for Will but also because they were not in Hannibal's best interest. Also doesn't he like kill Will's wife in season 3 idk yet dont tell me

"Break down, now weep, build up breakfast Now let’s eat, my love, my love, love, love (La la la la)"

This probably references the many fights the couple had and protagonist's method of trying to make it up to her by trying to get back into a loving, normal routine, forgetting the fights, doing things such as letting her sleep it off and making a breakfast, starting the day over - The breakfast being his love for her. This is most likely to say that acts of service for her would be his love language and he would feel loved if she accepted his services, as well as offerings(his love) he makes for her.

for Hannibal:

do i like. have to explain this one

first of all lets be real cooking and making ppl commit accidental cannibalism is his love language (even better when they are aware of it and accept it knowingly so u dont have to make them commit accidental cannibalism to feel like u're normal for enjoying it and ure not a monster and God didn't punish u by making u eat ur own sister and enjoy it and that they accept and understand u for this and are def not doing it as a manipulation tactic to get u closer to them... that's not smth Will would do to Hannibal wdym)

------------------------------

Chorus

"Muscle to muscle and toe to toe The fear has gripped me, but here I go My heart sinks as I jump up Your hand grips hand as my eyes shut And I, ah-ah-ah-ah"

The chorus seems to depict the the physical fight going between the two lovers. The protagonist doesn't seem to be in his right mind as he says that even though the fear tried to stop him, he has lost control and is now hurting his loved one (or himself) - His fear of rejection making him not handle this situation well and taking the last leap of faith to "save" the relationship by physically forcing her into it. The harm can either be to himself or her, maybe threatenening suicide and her gripping his hand to stop him, or him hitting her and her trying to deflect his hand with her own.

For Hannibal, it's literally,,gutting Will. Or any physical fight or holding each other at gun point or any murder attempt they had. In mizumono, Hannibal is visibly heartbroken by Will's decisions, maybe regretting the choices hes about to take. Maybe for once he felt some fear hurting another person, the person being Will, but he pushes through it, knowing it had to be done, to show Will how he made him feel. The physical contact in this chorus could represent the hug that they shared (the most heartbreaking hug in tv history). His feelings seem to contrast with the violence in that scene so much it makes me so fucking depressed

------------------------------

Verse 2

"[...}She bruises, coughs, she splutters pistol shots Hold her down with soggy clothes and breezeblocks"

The words have a violent imagery to them, maybe to show the lover fighting back and still not agreeing to stay, maybe even trying to hurt him, her words feeling like pistol shots to him, or it could represent her drowning, trying to catch a breath. If that's what is happening, then he tries to remind himself of his point and to not help her, because she will run away - it's better to hold her down and make her stay.

Will's most common weapons is a gun or his hands and words, so i guess it fits his image quite well(not to mention the amounts of time he held Hannibal at gun point lol). These clearly never seemed to have affected Hannibal (until the last supper) and he continues through with his plan of taking everything away from Will, showing what he has lost by not staying by Hannibal's side.

"She’s morphine, queen of my vaccine My love, my love, love, love (La la la la)"

The protagonist compares her to morphine, a drug used to help with pain - clearly he is very dependent on her and uses her for emotional stability and support, losing that would make him insecure and breakdown, he can't lose her after the vulnerability he shared with her. This also fits with the expression "Love is a drug", which to him, her love is clearly like a drug, he has become obsessed, needing her love all the time, addicted to her, suggesting the intensity of emotions she makes him feel and just how obsessed he is - that's why he can't let her go.

The contrast between the dark, violent and destructive comparisons he makes of her, ignoring those destructive feelings and calling her his "love" really deepens the juxtaposition between aggression and affection the song potrays and shows just how blind the protagonist is.

I feel like this fits Hannibal's feelings about Will quite well, considering how obsessed he is with him, to the point of destruction and isolating him to have him all to himself (and also the fact that my man was CRYING after putting Will in prison, missing their therapy sessions. LIKE BITCH). He really puts Will high up on a pedestal, suggesting just how important and addictive Will is to him and how dependent he has become on Will after opening up to him, maybe even feeling like Will numbs his pain and loneliness of never being accepted for who he actually was.

------------------------------

Verse 3

"[...]Germolene, disinfect the scene, my love, my love, love, love But please don't go, I love you so, my lovely"

This is the aftermath of the protagonist killing his lover. He realises that he killed her, getting an anticeptic(clearly unprepared for this and panicking, using some at-home antiseptic instead of something proper) to disinfect the scene off of his DNA. The realisation quickly hits him of what he has done, making him spiral into a breakdown as he realises that his actions didn't make her stay, they made her dead forever.

Hannibal clearly doesn't disinfect the scene in mizumono, he doesn't even wear his plastic suit or use the cloth that he always uses to not leave finger prints, there was no point in hiding anything anymore, Will helped FBI see through him, although we do see him "cleansing" himself off of the events by walking in the rain and trying to "comfort" Will, telling him to "wade into the quiet of the stream". I don't think these specific lyric apply to the situation much disinfection-wise, although it can represent Hannibal's state of mind, especially after realising everything he has done and the regret that came with it(does he feel guilty tho? i have no idea but the begging and love confessions in this line def represent his obsession and love for Will which left him very heartbroken after everything that was done)

also could represent Will........ him wanting to turn back, if he could only reverse time, undo the events so Abigail lives and everyone else lives..............ouch

------------------------------

Refrain

"Please don't go, please don't go I love you so, I love you so Please don't go, please don't go I love you so, I love you so Please break my heart (Hey!) Please don't go, please don't go I love you so, I love you so Please don't go, please don't go I love you so, I love you so Please break my heart[...]"

the most beautiful part of the song in my opinion tbh. The layers, the build up, the overlapping vocals, it's all just so overwhelming and emotional and vulnerable.

the protagonist spirals, realising what he has done but not wanting it to be true, he's not ready yet to let go of his lover, slowly, he's losing self control and giving into his violent desires, he threatens cannibalism if she goes away(she can't really do anything my dude...) as he frantically confessse to her that he loves her. He just loves her so much and needs her so much, the desire is so strong that he will consume her if it means that she stays right beside him(or inside him), craving that impossible closeness, it's a way to forever remain with a loved one. This whole refrain is just so incredibly contradicting and depressing and desparate its insane

now, it's no secret that Hannibal doesn't want to let Will go and even consume him. He wants him to live but at the same time he wants to taste him, devour him. To love is to consume, but to consume is to devour and transform in reusable energy. He wants him as close as possible and for Will to accept his desires and give himself up, let him be his - but clearly that's not what Will wanted (yet).

...This one is so straightfoward especially considering Hannibal that I don't even know what to say really. The song itself just says it all perfectly.

in conclusion they are fucking insane for this and breezeblocks is the ultimate hannigram (specifically mizumono) song. 11/10

------------------------------

additional notes:

was so excited for this one but i actually wrote less than i thought wow but maybe thats also cuz most of the song repeats. or im tired

idk if its cuz i literally dont know how to explain cannibalism as a metaphor of love or why but. at the same time the song just describes pretty well on its own

------------------------------

my playlist

hope you enjoyed and thanks for reading<3

[atlaskrr]

Comics that resonate with me in an unexplainable way - a rec list

☆ amount represents how much is resonated with me (aka how obsessed i became or how deep i loved) which is a personal thing not a quality thing.

sorted by sections below ⬇️

Manga

Zeikin de katta hon☆☆☆ - delinquent wants to use library. OH NO! he needs to return a book he lost when he was child. welp. reimbursement time. he does (while embarrassed) and ends up working in the library in the process and growing as a person. messages relate to the books and library practices in the chapter.

pos: AUGHHHH. comforting, imformativs, beautiful messages, well-written characters that each carry a message, and makes you fall in love with libraries and books (you will appreciate librarians 10x more)

neg: some charas can feel exagerated and some jokes are repeated one too many times

Magmell shinkai suizokukan☆☆☆ - i wanna work in an aquarium! a well renowned first ever deep sea aquarium! and i am. just as a janitor. but its ok since i get to watch and learn about all these wonderful creatures. i hope people see how beautiful they are too. each chapter carries a message tied to the creature it covers.

pos: GOD DAMN the art is beautiful. informative on the deep sea, well written characters and their psychology, nice mystery build up along the slice of life, you will be enraptured by the "ugly" deep sea. will make you believe in yourself and your dreams and that you can always grow and improve

neg: some scenarios of the world dont make sense with how the creatures would usually behave, weird age gap side-story (did not happen and was handled responsibly but still)

Butai ni sake☆☆ - they said i sounded scary. what if everyone will misinterpret me again? im at a new school for hs. i got this. how can i learn to be more, less scary? wait what club is showcasing right now? the... threatre club? maybe thats the answer. chapters show the club preparing for plays!

pos: RELATABLE AF characters. the messages are strong throughout and all the showcase of what goes on in a theatre club is very accurate. it makes you fall in love with the art and if youre already a theatre kid like me, i think youll be impressed and find it relatable.

neg: besides the main 2 characters, side characters can feel underdeveloped. ESPECIALLY one of them. the ending is very open-ended on the romance that they kept on implying (though it mightve just been bait)

Yokai gakkou no sensei hajimemashita☆☆ - imagine the most pathetic man you can muster. now make him 100x more wimpy to the point hes hussled by kindergardners. thats the mc of yohaji abe haruaki! he became a shut-in after trying to teach at a school and getting scared away by delinquents. but wait! a family friend has let him work at a school. with its own island?! wow this is an amazing oppurtuni- ITS A SCHOOL FOR YOKAI?! starts out as comedy but plot and characters develop along the way

pos: AMAZING characters, well developed relationships, great development throughout the story overall, fun yokai trivia, and well incorparated comedy. also. GAY. like- well written abd casually. pretty art btw.

neg: humour can be repetitive and too questionable for some. lowk the mangakas kinks are slipping through into it 💀 the timeline of one year feels like its streching on for ATLEAST 2 with the amount of shit that happens. once again, lots of questionable things. like time travel age gap. or just age gap ship bait. or just the mc. he gets a pass tho.

Manwha

The makeup remover☆☆☆ - i am ugly. but im ok with that, i mean im just a photography student. but i guess i could try more... how does everybody just become beautiful? how do they learn? OMG HE FUCKED UP MY MAKEUP. wait whos this new random dude. and why is he asking me to be his model for a makeup competiton??? the story follows this duo in the makeup competition.

pos: AMAZING STORY. AMAZING MESSAGES. each character FEELS like a message. they're well written. it feels realistic. the makeup looks SO CREATIVE. the relationships between characters are developed well and the diverse cast of backgrounds allow for good subplots that make you CARE and think about the messages they carry as they resonate in your soul. it shows both the good and bad of makeup. realistic. truly.

neg: very vauge open ending on relationship front as they kept teasing multiple relationships and it just- no payoff. spme character backgrounds were not explored enough.

Sambong barbershop☆☆ - theres a virus spreading around to ugly people when they break. im scared ill be next. but then a cat steaps her watch, she follows it to a barbershop and- is that a humanoid cat?! smoking a cig?????? oh and a majestic dude who cut hair with gigantic scissors. blablabla she ends up working at a barbershop. sambong barbershop. it shows how one can grow as a person yet stay the same as the mc works at the barbershop.

pos: good message, complex charas (they can be assholely but theyre human), cool action scenes and fantasy elements, very realistic as, well youll see how the development goes if you read this comic.

neg: artstyle takes a while to grow on you and ending was- random. and ambig. also, because its very realistic it guves a more harsh vibe to the message rather than positivity (not a full downside tho). also the world-building is very unclear and vauge.

Surviving romance☆☆☆ - ive been isekaid into my favourite romance novel. ahh this is the life, ill get my happily ever after, who cares about those faceless extras. lalalala- ZOMBIE OUTBREAK??? I DIE?! wait. im. alive again. at the beginning of that day. WHATS GOING ON??? the story follows how she'll survive this nightmare by getting to know unknown extras she has never cared for along the way.

pos: AMAZING development throughout the story as always by lee yone. characters and relationships grow very well and the mystery us very well developed and hints are rlly good! as hidden yet visible as they need to be. the pacing was good and the artstyle is very charming. the visuals are also used very cleverly and creatively. you can even see hints in the first few scenes! also, friendship! and a good, hopeful message for anyone struggling.

neg: ending can feel very luck based. also very open-ended (personally part of the charm tho). also questionable age losgistics and some might not like the character attitude switch ups.

Peace restaurant☆ - the dimensions have all collapsed together, right in seoul. naturally, theres war over land. but one safe haven owned by a mysteriously strong and feared lady, is peace restaurant. the newly awakened demon king is ready to fly there and when he does- be gets beat up. and not by the warrior there- BUT BY THE LADY???? the story follows the growing mystery behind the mc and the "fight" agaisnt people who oppose her restaurant.

pos: love the mystery and found fam. fun exaggerated characters yet also clearly more depth hiding beneath that. love through cooking. comedy that grows plot my fav genre fr. also, very cool dishes and world. also good character and relationship development for one chara. also, HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS!

neg: other characters could be more well developed and complex. change can feel too fast suddenly accepted by the mc. the current arc (chap 26ish i think?) is dragging FAR longer than it needs to. could benefit from more realistic characters (though its probably a writing choice for the tone of the story)

Webtoon

Cursed princess club☆☆ - gwendolyn is beautiful, just like the rest of her siblings, everyone in her life thinks so. though her life in inside the palace due to her overorotective father. but when she and her sisters are set to get engaged to the plaid princes and her fiance calls her UGLY. her world shatters as she realizes hes right. she runs into the forest as she cries and WHATS THAT. she passes out and wakes up in a mansion with princesses having a tea party outside. huh. so this isnt a haunted forest? WAIT WHATS WITH THE LONG NOSE? AND HOLLOW EYES?? AND- LOBSTER HANDS???? she has just stumbled upon the cursed princess club. the story shows a journey of self improvement and self love.

pos: WAAAA I ACTUALLY CRIED AT THE ENDING. very well written characters that develop over time, creative curses and good foreshadowing. the subversion of tropes is PEAK. it has good callbacks, parallels, analogies, etc.

neg: i feel like many characters can be explored more, worldbuilding unclear, and cam often times focys on romance more than id like. humour is very often misplaced such as in serious scenes when they should be before or after the peak of tension instead of well- at the peak. some relationships and feelings feel- random? and also bad people are way too easily forgiven. i feel like there needs to be a line to the positive messaging on that front.

Maho shonen☆ - ahh magical girls. teenage girls with superpowers. ah! 2 guide are descending and- TWO FULLY GROWN MEN?! and the gaurdians are, well.... they're certainly not cutesy, on the inside at least. and the grown men? they're just plain horrid at their job. the only thing they gain from all this, is trauma! not like they're already stocked up on it. oh, and each other of course! the story shows how the two will get through this whole ordeal as well as their daily life.

pos: the story WILL grow on you. cool art, good trope subversions esp in the price of being a magical girl. explores the psychology of it all and has well written characters that deal with realistic issues. also very nice duo dynamic.

neg: the humour may not suit everyone as it can be a bit more mature. it does take a few eps to get good and grow on you.

Our walk home☆ - two academic rivals.... wait, why aren't they acting like rivals at all? they're even getting along? and finding things in common?! they're letting the masks slip. but their rivaling schools won't be happy to hear about this from their top students. afterall, no one from the two schools are allowed to be friends. the story shows how these two mask-wearing academic achievers get through life together. and maybe, just maybe, fall in love.

pos: VERY good exploration of identity and self-worth and VERY relatable. the characters are very well written and have simple yet recognizable designs, a cute dynamic between the mcs.

neg: honestly, i don't know. it just didn't attach to my soul. probably secondary character relationships could be further expanded on.

The bathroom ghost☆☆ - ghost are scary. but this ghost, is just REALLY BAD AT HER JOB! what's a ghost to do when she can't scare? and is stuck in a mall bathroom of all places? worse yet, the managers keep badgering her about it! this follows her hijinks.

pos: the COOLEST artstyle I've seen in a comic with a very fitting and unique feel. cool character design, simple, yet entertaining, comedy, great use of body language, hidden plot developing. mc is very endearing and so are the rest of the characters. it's just so feel-good and heartwarming.

neg: takes a few episodes to move on from episodic if you dislike that. honestly, i just need more. that's my only complaint. GIVE ME MORE VOLPEE

[onboardsorasora]

'I dunno what this is' - my usual trope lmao but I'm just happy to have written something. this week was great emotionally but also exhausting and a drag so this may not be the greatest but I'm happy about it. As always, idk where this is going or if its even going anywhere. also as always, I haven't read it over lol we are working with vibes over here. I had this idea last night so theres that at least

Lewis stares at the guy who is supposed to be replacing Seb for the summer break, while he goes off on a well needed family vacation. Originally Lewis hadn’t needed a supplemental security guy, but then he’d started getting an increased amount of hate mail again ever since he eclipsed Max and Charles to be P1 in the championship standings again.

It was a great feeling, being P1. Even if the trade off sometimes meant that people took out their pitchforks.

Either way, he didn’t think this new guy would make the cut. He was cute, but he needed more than a pretty face to keep him safe. Didn’t matter if he came by Seb's personal request.

He was cute in a douchey Italian way, with his grown in facial hair and kinda wild curls. Lewis watched him as Seb gave him the run down, he was listening attentively at least and nodding along. Finally they joined Lewis out on the terrace, Seb looking as stern as ever and the new guy looking chill as if they were here for lunch.

“Lewis, this is Daniel Ricciardo, the guy I told you about.” Seb introduced, Daniel leaned forward to shake Lewis’ hand with a smile. Lewis looked him up and down, trying to place the military training that Seb claimed they had together. He didn’t see it, but he trusted his guy.

“Enchante.” Daniel grinned.

“You look like you were out partying last night, man.” Lewis said with a grin. Daniel laughed and his face got maybe ten times prettier.

“Yeah nah that's just my face. I can't help my dashing his looks.” Daniel shrugged carelessly. “I've been told it's quite punchable but what can you do, eh?”

That startled a laugh out of Lewis which in turn made Daniel grin even more. Lewis wanted to amend his previous impression of him, he was dangerous.

“So Seb says you’ve had an uptick in threatening DMs?” Daniel’s face became more focused, brows drawn in. it was Lewis’ turn to be blaise.

“No more than usual.” Lewis shrugged, he saw Seb shift from his periphery and Daniel raised a brow. 

Daniel made a clicking sound with his tongue before turning to Seb. “Yeah, I’ll just stay, those kinda threats can go left pretty fast.” He was motioning with his hands and Lewis couldn’t stop looking at his fingers. His hands looked strong, steady. He had a tattoo on his wrist but his long sleeves prevented Lewis from seeing much else. 

“Ah, bet.” Seb was saying. “And Lew is vegan, like I told you. That won’t be a problem I assume?”

Lewis wanted to roll his eyes, as if he would force anyone to become vegan to work for him. Daniel grinned again and Lewis was drawn to his face.

“Oh yeah I'm cool with being vegan for the next month or so.” Then he laughed, a wild but fun sound, “I had a fried chicken burger this morning as a send off anyway.”

“For breakfast?” Lewis asked dubiously.

“For brekkie. With an oat milk latte.” Daniel crossed his heart as if he was attempting to be a boy scout. Lewis was horrified with himself to find out that it was endearing him to the unserious man.

“Alright perfect. Thanks man, you really are doing me a solid.” Seb looked relieved that Daniel seemed to have passed some test. Lewis hadn’t realized any of them were being tested, but he trusted that Seb knew what he was looking for.

“No sweat mate, call us even for Ibiza.” Daniel grinned a squinty eyed grin when Seb threw his head back and cackled. Lewis looked on confused but content to let it go, he would have more than enough time in the next few weeks to try to get information out of Daniel. Especially information about how Seb was when they were younger.

Daniel eventually left with a spare key, saying he would go pack a bag and be back in an hour. It was just Lewis and Seb.

“You sure about this guy?” Lewis asked, leaning against the kitchen counter and staring into his friend’s blue blue eyes.

“100% I trust him with my life. Just.. keep your regular schedule, he’ll blend in an you’ll forget he’s even here.” Seb shrugged, Lewis looked at him dubiously.

“Yeah fine. If you say so.” 

They walked to the door together, Seb would be heading back to Switzerland tonight. Seb looked at him assessing for a moment.

“Be truthful with me, if you’re uncomfortable with the situation we can figure something out.”

“No, Seb it’s fine. Go, have fun with Kimi and the kids. We’ll be fine here.” Lewis rolled his eyes.

“Fine fine. Sure sure. Just promise me something?”

“What’s that?”

Seb’s eyes became teasing. “Don’t fuck him, yeah?” Then he cackled all the way out the door, leaving Lewis stunned.